Hockey News! BPHL Special Edition: January 2021

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.26

This is the 78th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another guest submission special article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.26. Silver and Rust had one for the ages last Thursday skating to an 8 - 8 tie in regulation before Silver prevailed in the shootout. This week we have not one but TWO guest editor submissions. Enjoy!

Special field reporter Jim Carr here, just outside the war memorial to bring you some capital J Journalism breaking news. We received a tip that Slattery canceled the games on 1/25 because they were going up against Black and he is on shaky ground with a second place Gold team that demands excellence. When we reached out to the self-proclaimed back to back to back......etc. champ player/coach of Gold, Marc Hasebroock, he chose not to comment on the rumors but did say that the organization thought they made a great move in the offseason to upgrade their goaltending BUT he made it very clear that, “Slattery has to be better, or else. It would be a shame if what happened to Bill Wilson, happened to him.” One can only speculate what Marc meant with that comment. Shortly after receiving this information, the Gold organization tendered every current and former UNO goalie not already on a BPHL roster. I was also able to reach out to player and GM from Black, Daniel White, to get his thoughts on this developing story. For most of the conversation he looked confused, but he did mutter out something about opening several new car wash facilities to keep his team stocked with fresh players.

There was a lot to take in there, but great information, as always, from Jim Carr. Special thanks to Jim for his journalistic integrity and tenacity to never let a story escape. Now we move on to your favorite Charlestown Chief, who is a college graduate and an American citizen.

Greetings you degenerate gamblers, Ned here. I had a couple rough weeks but my thumbs are all healed up and I’m outta debt. Only one way to celebrate and that’s by throwing some cash on this big football match coming up. Chiefs vs. Bucs for the Super Bowl!!! Take the Chiefs -3 but be prepared to live bet in about the middle of the 4th quarter when the refs start changing the rules for Brady. Lock bets for TD scorers: Kelce, Helaire, Evans, Fournette. For the MVP it’s going to come down to the winning QB. Mahomes is the favorite at -150 and counterpart Brady is +175. The smart money is on Brady for that one. I am now obligated by the state of Nebraska to mention that if you have a gambling problem call 1-800-BETSOFF. I think they’re a loan shark or something. Anyway, good luck and if you stick with my picks...you’ll probably win at least one.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were shared by the three stars of the game for each of their key contributions. Voss tied the game nearly as time expired, Martens stayed mentally tough after allowing 8 goals in regulation to only give up one goal against at least seven shooters, and finally, Gangelhoff buried the game winner after the emergency backup tender, CJ Tate stifled almost all of Silver's shooters. The Faceoff Chain made its return and was self-awarded to Coop.

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com. Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Zach Voss
2) Dustin Gangelhoff

3) Aaron Martens

Silver is back in action Monday, 1 February at RALSTON Arena at 10:00 PM. Silver and Gold will take the ice for the sixth PRECIOUS METALS game of the season. Silver has had been dismal against Gold and is winless in the first five contests but did force one shootout. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 48-28-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 24-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-32-0
Silver Games O/U 38-38-1

Silver/Red Recap

Silver -1.0 (-135)

Red +1.0 (+125)

Over 14.5 (-110)
Under 14.5 (-110)

Silver -115
Red +105

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 6 Odds
Silver +4.5 (-155)

Gold -4.5 (+115)

Over 15.5 (-110)
Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +140
Gold -1,500

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.25

This is the 77th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another apropos of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.25. Silver team fell to White on Monday night at the War Memorial in absolutely heart wrenching fashion. Silver was tied or held the lead for the 94% of the game before White scored a shorthanded goal in an empty net. Silver had not pulled their goalie, but as Silver net minder Martens raced out to play a soft dump near the dot, a White player dove, reached out, and tapped it back to where he had just vacated. It was a one in a million shot. With severely damaged spirits, Silver gave up two more tallies to solidify one of the worst bad beats in the history of sports gambling.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were unawarded after the devastating defeat. The Faceoff Chain remains MIA and now has likely been pawned at the nearest Sol's.

Stars of the Game

1) Jo Hampton
2) Cartier Turdy

3) Queen Whit

Silver is back in action Thursday, 21 January at RALSTON Arena at 9:45 PM. Silver and Red (Rust) will renew their season rivalry in their sixth match up. Silver has had success on the season against Rust, going 3-1-1. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 48-27-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 23-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-32-0
Silver Games O/U 37-38-1

Silver/White Recap

Silver +1.5 (-135)

White -1.5 (+125)

Over 11.5 (-110)
Under 11.5 (-110)

Silver +120
White -135

Silver/Red Odds
Silver -1.0 (+105)

Red +1.0 (-120)

Over 14.5 (-110)
Under 14.5 (-110)

Silver -115
Red +105

Friday, January 15, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.24

This is the 76th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another historically accurate article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.24. Silver team fell behind 0 - 1 to Teal early in the tightly contested first period on Thursday night at the War Memorial. It was not due to a lack of chances, but Silver players were finding it difficult to get it past Teal tender Tyler Grosche, who was standing on his head in the early going. It took a super sick snipe over the right shoulder from Silver veteran defenseman Dustin Gangelhoff to get Silver on the board. The wildly impressive goal sparked the Silver bench and they pumped in a few more to secure the victory by a final score of 6 - 3.

Alex Cooper and Zach Voss added goals (2 for Voss unless he also had the tip in goal, in which case the star of the game probably should change but it's too late now) for Silver and they were just as impressive - those were the only goals that were getting past Teal's net minder on this particular evening. Cooper gained control of the puck in the high slot on a turnover, completely blacked out, and continued to smoothly toe drag Waggener before finishing just under the bar. The goal from Voss came from near the goal line in the corner - the laws of physics had to have been broken to score from that angle as he somehow also managed to tuck it where momma keeps the cookie jar. Gangelhoff added another tally in the second period after failing to get the puck to Harris, the puck bounced back on his stick and he made the most of the break, burying a backhand laser into the top of the net, securing player of the game honors. He was quoted in the post-game presser as saying, "Some people say they'd rather be lucky then good. I'd rather be lucky AND good. Unfortunately, I am neither."

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Dustin Gangelhoff - 2 G, 1 A, 8 Buschhhhhhhhhh Lattes

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to Gangelhoff privately in his home after the game. The Faceoff Chain remains MIA.

Stars of the Game

1) Dustin Gangelhoff
2) Zach Voss

3) Alex Cooper

Silver is back in action Monday, 18 January at RALSTON Arena at 7:30 PM. Silver and White take the ice in the first game of the BPHL triple header. Monday night is I HAVE A DREAM Night at the rink and they will be serving a special concession stand meal of fried chicken, collard greens, black eyed peas, and corn bread in honor of MLK's favorite foods. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 48-26-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 23-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-31-0
Silver Games O/U 37-37-1

Silver/Teal Recap

Silver -2.5 (+135)

Teal +2.5 (-165)

Over 13.5 (-110)
Under 13.5 (-110)

Silver -130
Teal +125

Silver/White Odds
Silver +1.5 (-135)

White -1.5 (+125)

Over 11.5 (-110)
Under 11.5 (-110)

Silver +120
White -135

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.23

This is the 75th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another black as night article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.23. Silver team dropped another heartbreaker to Black on Monday night, falling by a score of 6 - 11. The game was much closer then the score indicated but Black's newly converted goalie and former standout forward for the White team, CJ Tate, could not be beaten. The game also marked the returns of Evans and Parrone back into the comfy folds of the Silver lineup. Both were clearly working hard during their leaves of absence, showing hardly any rust.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were actually awarded to the entire Black team for being so much better then everyone in the league and proving their dominance will probably never be matched so long as Danny White is out there busting his butt, making sure every last one of them has a job, right there at Tactical 88. The Faceoff Chain trophy has gone missing. Please call Alex Cooper if you have any information about its whereabouts.

Stars of the Game

1) Greg Gaglips
2) Dana Wight

3) Mick Jungger

Silver is back in action Thursday, 14 January at RALSTON Arena at 9:45 PM. Silver battles Teal for the second time in ten days. Teal will be looking to avenge their recent loss and get the Silver Monkey off their back. If victorious, they will join the Red Jaguars and Purple Parrots for a victory lap around the Hidden Temple. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 47-26-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 22-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-31-0
Silver Games O/U 37-36-1

Silver/Black Recap

Silver +4.5 (-150)

Black -4.5 (+110)

Over 16.5 (-110)
Under 16.5 (-110)

Silver +120
Black -10,000

Silver/Teal Odds
Silver -2.5 (+135)

Teal +2.5 (-165)

Over 13.5 (-110)
Under 13.5 (-110)

Silver -130
Teal +125

Monday, January 11, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.22

This is the 74th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another scandalous article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.22. Silver team continued their domination of Teal last Monday night, skating to a 9 - 3 victory. It was a closer game than it probably should have been for most of the first period, but then Silver scored three goals in less than a minute which took any remaining wind out of Teal's sails. Teal struggled to generate offensive pressure on Watson, the Silver goal tender, scoring on two extremely odd bounces. The other goal was deflected in the net by a Silver defender. When asked about the lackluster offensive output, Teal team captain Max Honaker said, "We have to give credit where credit is due. The Silver back line was phenomenal tonight and we could not break through the veteran defense of Gangelhoff and Staiger. We are going to keep pushing and plugging away and sooner or later they'll start popping in the net for us."

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to the entire Silver team after the true team effort was put on display to get the win. Alex Cooper again took home his namesake Faceoff Chain.

Now Hockey News! would like to point your attention to some interesting information the i-team recently came across. The BPHL has had many members over the years, coming from many walks of life and backgrounds. It is hard to imagine anyone using the BPHL to spread blatant false information and propaganda, but the i-team has uncovered just that. A player on the Gold team (Silver's bitter inferior rival) is making false claims on his own business website. The short bio of the player is claiming that he has "coached" the Gold team into a "seventh consecutive championship team." First of all, there are no coaches in the BPHL - check your programs. Second of all, there are no records of Gold winning seven consecutive championships, the BPHL site has no archives and the season records and stats are erased at the start of the next season. Case closed. The years those "championships" were "won" are mysteriously left out of the bio. If it was intended to include the 2019-20 season in the championships, that claim is also easy to refute. There was no champion crowned for the season in the normal playoff format, but there was a regular season champion crowned after conclusion of the last PRECIOUS METALS game of last season. Silver dominated the game and thus earned the title of Superior Precious Metal Team - BPHL 2019-20. Lucky for our readers, we have documentation of that game right HERE to back up the claim. This web of lies from the Gold team will only fuel the heated PRECIOUS METALS rivalry which due to the weight of Silver (much lighter than gold) will likely lead to many future victories.

Stars of the Game

1) Silver Team
2) Silver Team

3) Max Honaker

Silver is back in action Monday, 11 January at RALSTON Arena at 10:00 PM. Silver battles Black to try and bolster their position in the standings. Silver is bound to win one against Black but the scenario has to be just right, will it be tonight? The oddsmakers certainly don't think there is a chance. The only way to see it live is to come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 47-25-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 22-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-30-0
Silver Games O/U 36-36-1

Silver/Teal Recap

Silver -1.5 (+125)

Teal +1.5 (-150)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver -110
Teal +115

Silver/Black Odds
Silver +4.5 (-150)

Black -4.5 (+110)

Over 16.5 (-110)
Under 16.5 (-110)

Silver +120
Black -10,000

Monday, January 4, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.21

This is the 73rd posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to the first 2021 article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.21. Silver team dropped another PRECIOUS METALS game last Monday night by a score of 8 - 13. Gold rattled off nine straight goals to put Silver to bed early. Silver took advantage of garbage time, tallying 8 goals before the final buzzer blast. This drops Silver to 0-4-1 in PRECIOUS METALS games this season. Hockey News! can only offer these words of encouragement, as Happy Gilmore's would-be-coach so eloquently put it, "Well, better luck next year!"

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were not awarded due to the lack of a standout player on the ice for Silver during the game. Besides, trophies are for winners. The Silver team roster was also extremely sparse with many starting their New Year celebrations a few days early. Silver looks to get a few players back in January which will no doubt improve their chances of victory. Silver was able to have a consolation prize as their belated Christmas bonuses arrived from the front office.

If this isn't enough to make some players show up, nothing is.

Stars of the Game

1) Blue Pants
2) White Helmet

3) Jeff Harris

Silver is back in action Monday, 04 January at RALSTON Arena at 10:00 PM. Silver battles Teal to remain undefeated for all time. Silver is bound to lose one to Teal, with their depleted roster and odds stacking against them, will it be tonight? The oddsmakers think there may be a chance. The only way to see it live is to come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 46-25-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 21-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-30-0
Silver Games O/U 35-36-1

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 5 Recap

Silver +2.5 (-145)

Gold -2.5 (+110)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +190
Gold -1,200

Silver/Teal Odds
Silver -1.5 (+125)

Teal +1.5 (-150)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver -110
Teal +115