[Editor's note: This post is somewhat overdue and I apologize to my faithful readers. I hope not to have lost you as faithful readers. I love my faithful readers. Yeah, I'm gonna say it one more time. Faithful readers. In my defense, I've spent 3 weeks in FL, where I worked from 5 to 5, seven days a week. Then I had a week's vacation before I went out to Las Vegas for a week's worth of work. So I've been kind of busy. This blogging thing is a bigger time commitment than I originally thought. I don't know how Hammen pumps out posts like it's his job. He's like Superman or something. Check it out; the link is listed in the starting lineup on the right. Well without further ado, enjoy.]
The day begins with a good morning text from Addy D at 10:17 am, 'Big Guy?' I was asleep in some bedroom. It was really quite comfortable and like the previous morning (mostly every morning, mostly), I wasn't moving too swiftly. Three more texts in 10 minutes and we were rolling. Not before I did some major work in their bathroom though. A-thank-you.
I had no idea where we were relative to home base or where the Shorturican was. Addy kept trying to tell me it was like the morning in the movie The Hangover. I am reluctant to compare it to that for a few reasons, which I'll share right meow.
- We weren't in Vegas.
- I remembered everything that happened from the night before.
- We weren't hungover.
- There wasn't a tiger in the bathroom.
- Ant had his cell with him thus it took us 48 minutes to find him rather than 48 hours.
- He wasn't on the roof of the casino like the guy in the movie. Oops! Spoiler alert!
Luckily for me, Addy had been doing some detective work with his fire fingers and Anthony was taking a cab to meet us at a central location. We find Ant at a Dunkin Donuts sitting with a strange Asian man. Why was he sitting with a stranger? That's pretty much his standard operating procedure. We exchange war stories from the night's adventure, which brought up the interaction with Ant's morning cab driver. After some small talk, the cabbie asked Ant if he 'had intacoawse.' He proceeded to tell Ant that he 'would nevah have intacouwse anymore' because he was afraid of what could happen in today's world. Anthony refrained from responding to the cabbie's inquiry.
After a journey to the center (some excellent camera work at the 27 sec mark) of the earth for a subway ride, we arrived at the prestigious Harvard University. After a short history lesson, we found a place to get some food, not that exciting, but Ant grabbed an apple from the basket on the way out the door. That apple cost us later on in the day. Anthony didn't eat it. He simply carried it around. I don't know why. He's an odd character.
After we took the tour, we met the founder of the University, John Harvard, he told us that we should check out the football stadium. So that is exactly what we did.
We then found a bus route that would take us back to the apartment. At this point, it is hot out, it was afternoon, we are still wearing the same clothes from the day before, and we were tired. Did I mention that it was the 4th of July? Apparently that means the bus schedule isn't exactly accurate. After what seemed like an eternity, the right bus is rolling toward us from a distance. Obviously that was the best time to start throwing the uneaten apple Ant had been carrying around for the last 3 hours. So instead of flagging down the bus, we looked like 3 guys that were playing catch with an apple that just happened to be at the bus stop. Sometimes, I wonder how many times our mothers really dropped us on our heads as babies. After the bus blew by us we began walking. We ditched the apple and caught the next bus 30-45 minutes later.
I blame J. Harvard. What? You're too smart for that apple?
After a 20 minute bus ride we still have a 10 minute walk to our destination. During that walk a decision is made that we need to buy a football for the beach (the beach we never made it to that day). CVS Pharmacy had what had to be the worst football ever made for the bargain price of $9. A sound investment. Of course we bought it and played catch with it on the streets the rest of the way back. After some showers, a power nap, and a jam session, we camped out on the front lawn with 18 BL smoothies and went to work. The afternoon entertainment came by way of my cell phone which has a feature that reads text messages aloud. The voice sounds like a retarded robot lady. This became the funniest thing in the world for the next hour. Addy and Ant were sending me texts from 3 feet away so we could hear them aloud. Here are some of the good ones.
O m g o m g l o l ho ho koopa thats what she said. Lets go dare ren. Lets go dare ren. Dare ren cas pers. I love when girls put fingers in my butt hole.
Well after looking through them, the rest are too 'funny' to share. Of course by 'funny' I mean graphically inappropriate. Sorry to get your hopes up. Shortly after we killed the 18 pack, we began our journey to the public transit system with twinkles in our eyes while the burning pride of freedom swelled in our hearts. It was our nation's 233rd birthday and we would not go quietly in to the night. We would NOT vanish, without a fight. We were going to live on. We were going to survive. That night, we celebrated our Independence Day! We started our celebration with some apps and taps. Oysters, chicken strips, and Guinness. Good start. Down by the river, down by the banks of the River Charles, that's where you'll find the fireworks celebration. That was the plan. Sometimes plans change.
While walking down a winding Boston street, it comes to our attention, all at once, that there was a gathering on a rooftop across the street. Within 0.75 .......no, 0.63 seconds we all three had the same epiphany; we were getting on that rooftop for the fireworks. Anthony's first idea was probably the worst of the night. He yelled, "HEY!" multiple times at the top of his lungs trying to get the attention of a rooftop partygoer (see: mother dropping baby on head discussion above). Can't fault his enthusiasm though.
Addy and I had a better idea. We went to the buzzer, where he started mashing every button on the panel. Not 10 seconds after that, the door was unlocked. As we climb the stairs, still in shock that the door opened, we hit another potential road block. An apparent resident of the building (her name turned out to be Lexi) stops us in our tracks. Luckily, we happened to be 3 of the most handsome, charming, funny men in America and much less importantly, Lexi had had 1 too many (we found that out when she said "I'm wasted!"). We quickly passed her interview. I think it mostly had to do with us being from MN and absolutely nothing to do with her BA level. Mostly. She showed us a different set of stairs that were inside her apartment that led to the roof. I'm still baffled how that worked but Addy was convinced that the 'regular' stairs we started on, didn't go to the roof. A few more flights and we were basking in the glorious Boston air.
We got to the roof within 10 minutes of forming what I originally thought to be a shitty pipe dream. That's gotta be some kind of record. You know why it happened? Because good things happen to good guys. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention, unbeknownst to us, Maverick and Goose had requested a flyby and instead of the pattern being full (drum roll please).................................................it wasn't. We experienced a 4 jet flyby which, of course, made that moment a top ten moment in our lifetimes. Maybe top 4.
Unfortunately, the high we experienced would last for just a short time. I'm not sure what the reason was, but we didn't have any adult beverages in our possesion for consumption on the roof or a plan on how to leave the roof with any chance of getting back up. Maybe it was because we didn't really think that we'd be on the roof that easily. Maybe it was because we thought the beer was flowing like wine. Maybe we didn't think the plan through. Maybe somewhere in our subconscious we didn't want to enjoy any bevs on the roof. Maybe I should get to the point. Once we determined that there wasn't enough for all, a plan was formed to leave, purchase, and return. We were fairly confident that we could gain entry to the roof again by simply repeating the brilliant idea that was such a success our first go around. It was foolproof, right?
We made a quick run to the store a couple blocks away, not without stopping for a shot of Jameson along the way, and returned like conquering kings to the castle, ready for a night to remember. Our button mashing plan failed miserably. We waited there until another group came up to the door to enter the building. We dropped our buddy Lexi's name and we were in like Flynn. Nothing to stop us now. View? Good. Music? Good. Company? Good. Beverages? Goooooood. Here is a little pre-firework vid of our location. After watching it, I realize that you don't really need to read the last three paragraphs, but that's why I waited until now to link it. Very sneaky, I know. A couple highlights from the rooftop 4th of July bash:
We met with some actual Pittsburgh Pirates fans. That's some kind of dedication watching a team lose for 17 seasons.
Addy, while in a discussion with a young lad who had injured his fist earlier, took his first steps towards being a real world Occupational Therapist when he recommended, after the kid found out he was a hand therapist and asked his professional opinion, to soak the hand in ice water for 10-15 min.
We witnessed a hit and run on the street.
For some reason I recorded the entire fireworks show (around 15 min). I encourage you to watch the grand finale (it's only 1:41)
Of course we had a 'Let's go Darren!' chant.
The young lad with the injured hand came back with a bucket of ice water and showed Addy that he was following orders. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.
The party got busted by the cops. I think there were a lot of young people there. We moved the party to the street and finished the rest of our beverage supply.
The details start getting hazy from here on out. There are a few semi-good stories but really none worth telling except the following. Of course that is my opinion, but let's face it, it is my blog. Sometime during the night we had befriended the group that let us up to the roof after we made our B, double E, double R, U N. I had left Addy and Ant where the party had moved to, walking with my new friends. Not really sure where we were going, but I knew we were coming back sometime which was good enough at that point. For some reason I was walking around like I owned the place and had brought an open container on our street walk. Not the brightest idea, I know, but it allowed me to pull off what I thought to be an awesome feat. While walking, I saw a cop and immediately ditched my beverage. I don't know where we went from there but it was a few blocks away. We didn't return for some 30 minutes, but of course we returned the same way. Stop me if you see where this is going. Yes, I found my beverage that I left and yes, I finished it. On the way back it was like a light bulb went off in my head because I hadn't planned this little maneuver. Sometimes the best stuff happens unplanned (see: rooftop fireworks party). If you don't like my re-return for the drink, I don't like you. It was awesome.
Sometime between the end of the party and the cab ride home we encountered a full pizza on the street. We thought it a good idea to play with it. Ant has a video with some pretty amazing footage of me and the pizza. I didn't know he was recording. I'm going to post it on here if I can get it from him.
Just brush it off! There wasn't that much dirt on it.
'Look at my Italian hat!'
A short cab ride later, we returned to the apartment, made a feast, and destroyed it. Not sure where all the time went but somehow we ended up watching the sunrise. I know we passed the time with a jam session of epic proportions. There couldn't have been anyone else within a 50 block radius because I know that music was cranked up to 11 from the time we got back until shortly before sunrise. I know we explored the attic that I didn't even know existed. It was a heck of a celebration and we definitely made the most of the weekend. If I didn't have an experience to top that weekend again for the rest of my life (aside from important grown-up stuff), I would be totally fine. Not that I'm not gonna try. I'm just saying I had an awesome time.
I hope Dave threw that hat in the fireplace immediately after this performance.
Yeah, Robert Randolph doesn't mess around.
