Soccer breakdown in 3, 2, 1...

Thanksgiving is finally here and I can't tell you how badly I needed a holiday. This is the time of year where work seems to get less important for everyone and the shift of importance goes to eating and watching football. I like that shift. This time of year is awesome. My company has 8.5 paid holidays and 5.5 of them are crammed into the time between the last Thursday in November and the glorious 1st day of the new year. For those of you counting at home, that's 5.5 days out of what would normally be 27 work days. Three out of the next six weekends are the ever so coveted '4 day weekends.' My Minnesota High School math tells me that is half, or 50% in layman terms. Those are the kind of numbers I can deal with.

There are some downfalls to the next 27 days, however. Should I so choose to spend these holidays with my immediate family, I will have to make the 16 hour round trip up I-29 to the great white north for two of the three weekends. I suppose I could try and fly home, but that gets expensive, even for someone employed by Dan Patrick, and there is no guarantee that the plane will actually land in Bemidji (see paragraph 5). The possibility of a blizzard could strand me there (which wouldn't be so bad....no work!), but mostly it will force me to drive back in horrible conditions because I don't know when to admit defeat when regarding weather, which will put me in the ditch somewhere on White Earth Reservation. At some point I got it stuck in my head that my Grand Am has a 3.5 foot clearance with 4 wheel drive, kind of like a Hummer.

I am making the journey today, and to combat the drive I will be listening to the daily podcast of who else but DP. As I said before, it's radio gold. Once that is over and I still have 6 hours of driving left, I plan on watching some blu rays on my laptop. If that gets old/dangerous, I'll put iTunes on shuffle. Yes, you have that right, I don't have a working iPod, so my computer doubles as an iPod for long car trips. It's the only way to road trip in my opinion. iPod screens are way too small to watch movies while driving.

Anyways, wish me luck and I wish all 3 of my readers, dubbed the Dangelettes by Reggie Miller, (Meow, Jim, and SSWY) a Happy Turkey Day. Here's to eating one big meal, throwing it up, and going back for a second. That is one of my Turkey Day goals.
You may be wondering what the title of this post is referring to. Wonder no longer. Soccer breakdown in 3, 2, 1.

Arcade Fire!

After a long, drawn-out, 46 day negotiation between DG (the talent) and Blogger© (upper management), a contract extension agreement has been reached that will keep a stream of impeccably written satire on the world wide interweb for the greater part of our lifetime. The original contract for blog author of These pretzels are makin’ me thirsty was set to expire at the end of 2009 but, due to the great success and massive cult following, the critically acclaimed writer demanded a mid-season re-negotiation of contract.

The details of the contract have not been released but sources close to DG say the demands were met. When asked of his demands DG was quoted as saying this, “I’m tired of people talking about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to write the blog, drink Pepsi, and wear Reebok. We [writers] might make a lot of money but, we also spend a lot of money.” Obviously words to live by.

This hold-out during negotiations left many fans in a state of distress yet anxious for a deal to be reached. Not all readers were impressed, however, as shown by this man’s take on the situation, “What? The guy has eight posts and thinks he can make demands? That’s like if Joe Montana demanded a contract re-negotiation after his first completion in training camp. Grow up Peter Pan.”

Although the contract has been signed, the frequency of future posts is still a question mark. Only time will tell if this new contract will motivate brilliance or complacency.

The above was an article taken from the USA Today and was thought to be relevant to my readers. I will not deny or confirm the statements made by the article. I hope to put this alleged incident behind me and move forward as if it did or did not happen.

I’d like to take some time to tell you what I’ve really been diggin’ lately. My favorite part of every weekday is listening to the greatness that is The Dan Patrick Show. It’s so good, I can’t fathom how I ever lived without it. I’m having trouble even writing this because I am so intently listening to the podcast right meow.

I think the best thing about it, aside from its riveting interviews and tremendous sports insight, is the humor that is interweaved throughout the entire program. It’s the type of humor that is so subtle, you might think that Dan and the Danettes were serious if you weren’t a regular listener. The guys on the show call it tongue in cheek, which is a phrase I have always heard, but never cared enough to figure out what it meant. As it turns out, that is exactly the humor I get down with. It’s almost as if DP doesn’t want you to know for sure if he is joking even though he most certainly is, and yet he says it so seriously. I love it.

The show has also been on Direct TV channel 101 since the beginning of August. Sure, I know what you're thinking, how can radio show be on TV? The mothership has radio shows on TV (i.e. Mike and Mike in the Morning, The Herd with Colin Cowherd) and it's pretty much what you expect, guys sitting, talking into mics. What if I told you the DP show has a basketball hoop where they shoot jumpers during the break? What if I told you there is a golf simulator where DP plays Pebble on Fridays? If you haven't heard the term 'Man Cave' before, google it. There is actually a show called Man Caves hosted by former NFLer Tony Siragusa that built the studio for them. Watch this and tell me that you don't want this job. That shows the lighter side of the program but I recommend listening for the interviews if you're a sports fan. It's radio gold. I'll admit, I laugh out loud.

What's that? You don't know where you can hear this amazing radio program? Let me tell you all the ways to access the DP show aside from Direct TVs channel 101. You can subscribe to the free podcast from iTunes (commercial free). Go to his site and listen live, find your local affiliate radio station, or listen to individual segments from the show. It is also broadcast over Sirius XM radio.

Does this sound like a commercial yet? Hope so. DP, I can do what Seton does. I'd be on that show in a minute. My goal in life is to become a Danette. I know it's pretty lofty, but that's who I am. I aim big. Oh, another reason DP is awesome, he is down with the Oregon Rap Community.

En Fuego