Hockey News! BPHL Special Edition: February 2021

Monday, February 22, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.32

This is the 84th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another maximum effort article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.32. Silver played the role of Black and Gold while beating up on Red last Thursday at the War Memorial. It was no 11 - 1 or 15 - 5 bludgeoning, because Silver did actually ease off the gas pedal which allowed Red to pull with 4 goals at 4 - 8. Silver dug deep and snapped off a few more goals to put the game on ice, eventually winning by a final score of 11 - 5. Although it was not technically the GWG, Jeff Evans' blast of a one-timer past the flailing blocker of the Black Knight just after Red had climbed back into the game, completely taking the wind right back out of their sails, it sure felt like a game winner on the ice.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Dustin Gangelhoff - 3 G, 4 A, 1 SHCKR

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to the luckiest Silver player of the night. Dustin Gangelhoff had 3 tallies and 4 assists on the evening (4 goals if you count the one that went in his own net off him). Two of the goals were deflections off the opposing team and one of the assists came off the Evans goal. Lots of luck involved there - Evans would be the first to admit if you are getting an assist on one of his goals, you might want to go buy a couple lotto tickets. There were many other scorers, Staiger had at least two, Voss probably had a couple, Harris and Bednarz certainly added to the total. Mullendore, Parrone, Blasz, Barton, Cooper, and Johnson may even all have thrown one in there! There was plenty to be had for all.

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com. Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game (in no particular order)

1) Dustin Gangelhoff

2) Mitch Staiger

3) Zach Voss

4) Jeff Evans

5) Jeff Harris

6) Jake Mullendore

7) Brandon Parrone

8) Matt Blaszkiewicz

9) Aaron Martens

10) Rob Barton

11) Alex Cooper

12) Paul Bednarz

13) Reid Johnson

Silver is back in action Monday, 22 February at RALSTON Arena at 7:00 PM. Silver takes on White tonight in a MUST WIN game. Silver hovers only slightly above White in the standings. Additionally, Silver is 1 - 2 - 0 in their first 3 games since the last O/U for wins (7.5) was released on their last 17 remaining games. Getting 8 wins is a tough ask for Silver with their remaining schedule. Conversely, the odds on Silver making the post season are -100,000,000,000. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 50-32-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 26-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-36-0
Silver Games O/U 41-41-1

Silver Wins Final 17 Reg. Season Games (2020-21) O/U 7.5 - Record 1-2-0

Silver/Red Recap

Silver -1.5 (+135)

Red +1.5 (-145)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -135
Red +125

Silver/White Odds

Silver +2.5 (-145)

White -2.5 (+125)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +125
White -145

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.31

This is the 83th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another low effort article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.31. Silver was annihilated by Black on Monday. That's all I have to say about that.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were not given back by White.

Stars of the Game

1) John Huggins

2) Baron Masterful

3) Greg Gallows

Silver is back in action Thursday, 18 February at RALSTON Arena at 9:45 PM. Silver takes on Red tonight and hopes to bounce back from some horrific losses. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 49-32-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 25-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-36-0
Silver Games O/U 40-41-1

Silver/Black Recap

Silver +5.5 (-135)

Black -5.5 (+100)

Over 17.5 (-110)

Under 17.5 (-110)

Silver +550

Black -9,995

Silver/Red Odds
Silver -1.5 (+135)

Red +1.5 (-145)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -135
Red +125

Monday, February 15, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.30

This is the 82th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another monotonous article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.30. Silver continued their roller coaster ride of a season by dropping a heartbreaker to White last Thursday by a score of 3 - 7. The season series for Silver against White is now at 1 - 3 - 0 with a +0 goal differential. So at least they have that going for them, which is nice. Silver cannot seem to put together a consistent stretch of games, losing big one night and coming out to win the next only to fall mightily again in the following game. This may be why their record hovers right around the .500 mark. Despite bein blown out of the water, it did not stop the BPHL head official from disallowing a Silver goal, he must have felt he was behind pace on the season and tried to sneak one in there.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to the other team, but they declined the photo opportunity.

Stars of the Game

1) Queen Whist

2) Tenneman Cyst

3) Turdy Parter

Silver is back in action Monday, 15 February at RALSTON Arena at 8:15 PM. Silver takes on the first place Black team on what is sure to be the coldest night of this season, which is fitting because it will match the temperature of the Black team's collective ice cold hearts. Tonight is boiling water night, bring a bucket and throw it at someone in the stands to make it snow! Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 49-31-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 25-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-35-0
Silver Games O/U 39-41-1

Silver/White Recap

Silver +1.5 (-105)

White -1.5 (+110)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +125
White -135

Silver/Black Odds
Silver +5.5 (-135)

Black -5.5 (+100)

Over 17.5 (-110)
Under 17.5 (-110)

Silver +550
Black -9,995

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.29

This is the 81th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another orgasmic article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.29. Silver continued the domination of Rusty Red this season, winning on Monday night by a score of 10 - 4. The lopsided victory brings Silver's record to 5-1-1 against Red, with two games going to shootouts. The emergency backup goalie was not allowed to come in and try to save the day for Red, although The Black Knight did take a Bednarz rocket wrister directly off his melon, triggering a stoppage in play for the BPHL concussion protocol. Unlike the bitter rival Gold, Silver took their heavy feet off the gas pedal and cruised to a solid victory without going one million miles an hour for all 36 minutes (aside from one Silver player that went harder then he has all season for the last 4 minutes to make up for the lollygagging that had preceded). It just goes to show how you cannot teach class, it is something that no team that would deliberately change their name to match a precious metal and also use the periodic table element symbol as a logo, could ever have. Unless a team was doing it to mock the first team - then it is pure class.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Alex "Coop" Cooper - 0 G, 0 A, 12 SOG, 8 FOW, 1-5 min shift, 1 hit

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to Alex Cooper for his extra effort on his last shift which lasted about 30% of the third period. He may have even got the Faceoff Chain. Congratulations!

Stars of the Game

1) Alex Cooper

2) Jeff Harris

3) Chris Schneider - took a wicked shot to the groin and played through

Silver is back in action Thursday, 11 February at RALSTON Arena at 7:30 PM. Silver and White unite for their fourth game of the season. Get ready for a few more of these games, because White and Silver meet 5 times in the next 17 games. Interestingly enough, Silver holds the goal differential on the season by a margin of 18 - 14, but remains 1 - 2 in the series. The new O/U for Silver Wins has come in at 7.5 for the remainder of the regular season (17 games). Currently about 85% of the bets placed are on the under. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 49-30-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 25-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-34-0
Silver Games O/U 39-40-1

Silver/Red Recap

Silver -0.5 (+105)

Red +0.5 (-110)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -105
Red +105

Silver/White Odds
Silver +1.5 (-105)

White -1.5 (+110)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +125
White -135

Monday, February 8, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.28

This is the 80th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another SUPER article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.28. Silver and Gold met for the second of another home and home series but you wouldn't know the difference since the results were again the same. Gold may have broken the Silver spirit going up by what one would think was a fairly comfortable lead at 7 - 1 in the third period. Gold must have had nightmares from losing to Silver because they surely did not believe that any lead was safe and continued to give 100% effort - sending two guys high in the neutral zone, firing non-stop stretch passes, viciously backchecking, and streaking for two on ones at maximum speed until the final horn sounded. The final score was 11 - 1 and the cheers could be heard all through the hallways at the War Memorial as Gold celebrated a beer league hockey win in true circle jerk fashion before all going to Runza for a free meal purchased by the team financier (that calls himself the coach).

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were put in a time capsule for it is unknown when a worthy Silver player performance will next earn the honored awards.

Stars of the Game

1) Matthew Slattery of Slattery Design

2) Blue Pants

3) White Helmet

Silver is back in action Monday, 8 February at RALSTON Arena at 7:30 PM. Silver and Rusty Red take the ice tonight for a real super showdown after the fireworks from last game ended in a shootout. Silver will try to forget about the last two games and forge ahead into the fire. Thoughts and prayers go out to Ned Braden who is surely laying face down, in a drained pool somewhere in Tampa Bay after this weekend's gambling losses. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 48-30-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 24-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-34-0
Silver Games O/U 38-40-1

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 7 Recap

Silver +5.5 (-145)

Gold -5.5 (+105)

Over 15.5 (-110)
Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +160
Gold -1,900

Silver/Red Odds
Silver -0.5 (+105)

Red +0.5 (-110)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -105
Red +105

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.27

This is the 79th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league. He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another rivalrous article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.27. Silver and Gold met in the first of another home and home series on Monday night at the Gold home rink. Gold continued the domination of the PRECIOUS METALS series winning by a score of 9 - 4. It seems that despite only an infinitesimally smaller GAA for the new Gold goalie (replacing Bill Wilson) Silver is now unable to get the job done against the rival. Player/coach Jim DeRouchey is likely going to shuffle the lines around to get something cooking for Silver in the series. Maybe getting several former division one hockey players to play on the team would also help, but it is probably more of a line-shuffling issue.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were unawarded. The Faceoff Chain was retired - Silver team does not want nor do they appear to deserve more than one trophy (certainly not more than two).

Stars of the Game

1) Frog Pussy
2) Matthew Slattery of Slattery Design

3) Butch Simpson - suffered a heart attack sometime after the game, but is doing well

Silver is back in action Thursday, 4 February at RALSTON Arena at 9:45 PM. Silver and Gold will take the ice for the seventh PRECIOUS METALS game of the season. Silver is looking to get a win on home ice in the second game of the home and home series with hated rival, Gold. They are desperately looking to get off the schneid and will likely do anything to get the job done. On a lighter note, it's ZUBAZ night at the Ralston War Memorial Arena - wear your favorite pair and get half off your entrance fee and a free "Save the Tiger" poster. Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids! We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 48-29-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 24-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-33-0
Silver Games O/U 38-39-1

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 6 Recap

Silver +4.5 (-155)

Gold -4.5 (+115)

Over 15.5 (-110)
Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +140
Gold -1,500

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 7 Odds
Silver +5.5 (-145)

Gold -5.5 (+105)

Over 15.5 (-110)
Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +160
Gold -1,900