Monday, December 28, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.20

This is the 72nd posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to the final 2020 article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.20.  Silver bounced back last Monday night, beating Red handily by a score of 9 - 5.  Post-game celebrations were immediately held at Winner$.  A Benny Snell Jr. touchdown was needed in the second half to buy a round of shots reminding everyone how much better money won is over money earned.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Zach Voss - 5 G, 1.5 venison sticks

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to Zach Voss who scored at least five of Silver's goals, posting a new career high.  He was also awarded the Shiny Alex Cooper Fake Gold Faceoff Chain because of the bling factor - although Gold is the inferior metal, Silver and Gold things go together.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight submission from Ned Braden is missing this week along with Ned himself.  Things didn't quite pan out in the gambling world over the Christmas holiday week and it is highly likely he is lamming it until things cool down and he can get enough scratch together to avoid getting "the chop," and I'm not talking about his foreskin, either.

In other Silver team news, Barrett Jeffrey Evans has been added to the projected 2038 roster.  Until then, he'll be looking to add quite a bit of mass to his 7.5 lb, 1.6 ft frame.  Congratulations Jeffrey and Laura!

Barrett Jeffrey Evans*
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries

*not pictured in actual photo - Barrett Jeffrey Evans

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Zach Voss
2) Jeff Harris
3) Barrett Jeffrey Evans

Silver is back in action Monday, 28 December at RALSTON Arena at 8:45 PM.  Silver battles Gold in the 5th 2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME and needs to get a W to turn the tide of the season series before it gets out of hand.  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 46-24-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 21-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-29-0
Silver Games O/U 34-36-1


Silver/Red Recap
Silver -0.5 (+105)
Red +0.5 (-135)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver -105
Red +105

2020 PRECIOUS METALS GAME 5 Odds
Silver +2.5 (-145)
Gold -2.5 (+110)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +190
Gold -1,200

Monday, December 21, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.19

This is the 71st posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another good old fashioned family article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.19.  Silver dropped a tight game Monday night, surrendering to Black by a final of 7 - 11.  Silver had even less skaters then the previous game and found it difficult to keep up with the iron lungs of the Black veterans.  The ice was tilted one way with 16 of the goals being scored in one end.  Silver has at least 3 healthy scratches tonight - maybe more.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were yet again not awarded.  Coop won his own trophy but forgot to take it home (Shiny Alex Cooper Fake Gold Faceoff Chain) - winning a fair amount of draws.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight again features a submission from a former player.  Enjoy the following guest editor submission and heed the advice with caution.

Greetings Degeneration X! Well we’re having a rough start to this segment at just 20% (Dickie will face check that number) but bowl season is upon us and so is that time of the year NFL teams stop caring or start trying.  Let’s dive right into it and start things off with The BYU Mighty Mormon Man Boys (pretty sure the average age of their players is 24) playing the UCF Retirees??? UCF is +6.5 and I think they’re gonna need a lot more help then that.  Zach Wilson has the arm, players around him and probably a huge dick too.  Look for him to put on a clinic.  Feel free to increase your odds on this pick and tease it up to 13 cause those non-smoking, decaf-drinking Mormons have a lot of pent up testosterone and aggression that they are gonna unleash all over the faces of those bums from Florida. BYU covers before the half and never looks back.

HO HO HO it’s Christmas Day with Marshall a 3 point favorite against the Buffalo Bulls.  Everything points to Buffalo in this one.  They’re bigger, faster, stronger, and Marshall sucks.  Buffalo by a million!

Boxing Day blowout alert!  Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns are giving up 13 to the Acme Roadrunners from San Antonio.  UTSA is going to have to pull out all of the stops in this one, it’s the last game of their year.  The Co-Sun Belt Champs Cajuns are hungry for another victory and you’d better give them some Tony Chachere creole injectable butter because they’ve been on a roll!  Easy cover here.  Bonus prop bet alert for all you guys looking to make a little more coin, if you can find a book that has any lines on the number of times the broadcast team makes reference to Pee Wee Herman looking for his bike in the basement of the Alamo.  Should payoff bug!  -Ned Braden 

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Burnt Hoagie
2) DK Tuber
3) Branson Michelle

Silver is back in action Monday, 21 December at RALSTON Arena at 7:30 PM.  Silver battles Red in their second to last game of 2020, it is fit to be a real barn burner - would not be surprised to see a tilly or two - especially if that meat head Inserra is on the ice.  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 45-24-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 20-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-29-0
Silver Games O/U 33-36-1


Silver/Black Recap
Silver +5.5 (-145)
Black -5.5 (+105)

Over 16.5 (-110)
Under 16.5 (-110)

Silver +125
Black -99,750

Silver/Red Odds
Silver -0.5 (+105)
Red +0.5 (-135)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver -105
Red +105

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.18

This is the 70th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another merry article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.18.  Silver had revenge exacted on them on Monday night, falling to White 4 - 6.  Silver had routed White in the first game, winning by nine.  It is hard to put a finger on the reason for the loss, not because it was difficult to find but because there were so many to choose from, it was hard to pick just one.  Was it because the puck wasn't cleared when needed?  Was it because goals weren't scored on prime scoring chances?  Was it due to a lack of puck movement and selfish play?  Was it because of a lack of talent?  Or was it due to lack of commitment from the team members?  Not the ones on the ice, clearly their priorities are in the right order.  I'm looking at the ones that could have been there, but decided to blow off the game.  Hockey News! isn't here to point out individuals, those people know who they are.  One thing is for certain, it wasn't for a lack of face offs won.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were yet again not awarded.  Dustin Gangelhoff was awarded the Shiny Alex Cooper Fake Gold Faceoff Chain - winning 83.33 (repeating of course) percent of draws taken.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight again features a submission from a former player.  Enjoy the following guest editor submission and heed the advice with caution.

Well Degeneration X, those that chose to fade me last week had a good payday.  Those that did not... well....better pay back those payday loans first (lotta interest on those).  Let’s take a look at the board this week and get our money back, it is championship week after all.  I’ve also got a guaranteed bonus pick for you too.  Merry Christmas kiddos, Santa won’t be skipping our house this year!  LETS GO!!!

To start off let’s dive right into the Maction!  The MAC championship game features a fierce 5-1 Ball State team against a dominant 5-0 Buffalo squad who is laying 13.5 points.  Who doesn’t love Maction???  Is it going to be a touchdown, pick 6, safety, or 15 laterals?  Nobody knows!  13.5 is a lotta points, I don’t know about you but I’d rather start a game up 13.5 - 0 rather then the other way around.  It’s simple math, so I’m taking Ball State to get some of my money back.

Looking at the ACC, Notre Dame is a 10.5 point underdog to Clemson, the two teams met earlier in the season with a Sunshineless Clemson team, falling in OT to a great defensive effort by the Fighting Irish.  Looking at Saturday’s game, a lot of people are saying Notre Dame can’t handle big games that matter.  History has certainly proven that to hold true.  This was a tough pick for me to make, so I went down a deep dive into the record book and found a little nugget.  Notre Dame has never won a conference championship!!! Who knew?!! Don’t look for them to win this game but they will cover and blow their green asses off in the playoff.

Moving over to the NFL on Saturday, the Bills are laying 6.5 on the road to the Broncos.  Really???  Order your wings from Pizza West (not a sponsor...yet) stock up on folding tables cause you are gonna be so jacked by the outcome of this game.  Bills Mafia rolls in this one for a comfortable cover.

For my bonus pick, I’m looking at Rutgers vs Nebraska.  The Rutgers (whatever nickname here) are getting 6.5.  I’m thinking this is gonna be another gutwrencher for Husker nation.  Everyone please reach out to Rob Barton periodically over the weekend for a wellness check!  Take Rutgers +6.5.  Double bonus guarantee lock, take the Rutgers second half line unless someone tells Frost that football games have two halves.

Remember, it’s not about winning and losing.  It’s about covering.  - Ned Braden 

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Cartier Pretty
2) Quinton Wyatt
3) Braised Mutton

Silver is back in action Thursday, 17 December at RALSTON Arena at 8:30 PM.  Silver looks to take exact some revenge of their own against Black right before the Christmas.  Only after Black has been humbled, will they be able to turn their blacker-than-night hearts to a color that will reflect the true Christmas spirit of giving and joy.  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 44-24-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 20-10-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-28-0
Silver Games O/U 33-35-1


Silver/White Recap
Silver -3.5 (+115)
White +3.5 (-155)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -145
White +120

Silver/Black Odds
Silver +5.5 (-145)
Black -5.5 (+105)

Over 16.5 (-110)
Under 16.5 (-110)

Silver +125
Black -99,750

Monday, December 14, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.17

This is the 69th posting of news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another explicit article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.17.  Silver dropped their fourth straight PRECIOUS METALS game last Monday and have had a week to think sit in misery thinking about the game.  The game was close, ending at a final 5 - 7 score, including a late empty net goal by Gold.  Silver will get only one more crack at Gold before 2021.

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were not awarded afterwards.  The same can be said for the Shiny Alex Cooper Fake Gold Faceoff Chain.  Maybe the next game, someone will step up and earn it.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight feature is also suspended until Silver beats Gold.  Send your submissions to Dickie for consideration - these can be articles, pictures, and stories regarding Silver players.

Speaking of the Spotlight, hopefully everyone faded Ned Braden's advice from last week and now are rolling deep in some new green, instead of filing Chapter 11.  Coastal did end up winning but it was not enough to beat the 13.5 points they were laying.  The Chants had to score with 35 seconds remaining just to take the lead and eventually win.  Unfortunately, the Incarnate Word and Arkansas State game was not played - I'm sure that would have come in big time.  The CCU coach prop bet also was a loser, but no books were offering it after the posting of the last article - it was taken off the board, likely for insider trading type information.

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) The Ghost of Rafer Aldred
2) Satan Needler
3) Darvish Brisquet

Silver is back in action Monday, 14 December at RALSTON Arena at 7:30 PM.  Silver takes on White for only the second time in 2020.  Silver won convincingly against White the first time around - look for a much closer contest tonight.  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 44-23-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 20-9-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-28-0
Silver Games O/U 33-34-1


Precious Metals Game 4 Recap
Silver +1.5 (-155)
Gold -1.5 (+115)

Over 14.5 (-110)
Under 14.5 (-110)

Silver +225
Gold -465

Silver/White Odds
Silver -3.5 (+115)
White +3.5 (-155)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver -145
White +120

Monday, December 7, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.16

This is the 68th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another infamous article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.16.  Silver celebrated another victory against Teal last Thursday night moving their season record to 6-5-2.  The game was controlled by Silver for a large majority but got interesting with just under a few minutes to play.  As Silver held a seemingly comfortable 6 - 3 advantage, the Teal team and their NEVER SAY DIE attitude came roaring back to make it a 6 - 5 game with little time remaining.  Silver managed to hold off the monumental effort from Teal and also netted an empty netter with under a second to play, which was much more meaningful to some then others.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Paul Bednarz - 2 G, 0 A, 1 faceoff chain

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to Paul Bednarz who extended his goal scoring streak to three games (at least) and was the only player to tally more than one on the night.  He also was awarded the Shiny Alex Cooper Fake Gold Faceoff Chain - mostly because he found it and wore it for the rest of the night.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight features not a person from the current team, but a submission from a former player.  Enjoy the following guest editor submission:

Greetings Degeneration X!  Now that I've gotten back on my feet, patched things up with the family, and gotten help from a fantastic hotline (not to be confused with my usual 1-900 hotlines), I'm here (better late then never) to help Dickie's readers earn a little coin betting on sports.  What could be better then that perfect gift for the man in your life?  Paying for it with money won following my expert picks!  Here we GO!

Saturday Week 15:  America's Team Coastal Carolina is rolling into Troy as a 13.5 point favorite.  Take out a loan, a second mortgage, get a pay day advance, and borrow as much money as you can from your deadbeat friends at the VFW and put it all down on Coastal!  It's a lock!  Bonus pick:  Arkansas State over Incarnate Word.  Doesn't matter the spread, sprinkle a little on the parlay with CCU if you really wanna feel alive!  Double bonus if you can find a book to take a prop bet for the CCU coach to say, "Hi to all the guys from work," in the post-game interview! - Ned Braden 

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Paul Bednarz
2) Rob Barton
3) Christopher Schneider

Silver is back in action Monday, 7 December at RALSTON Arena at 10:00 PM.  Silver looks to take down Gold in the fourth PRECIOUS METALS game of the 2020 season.  It's going to be a late one, but the barn will be rocking from puck drop to final whistle.  The only thing more sure to happen then that is the head official disallowing a Silver goal while missing an offside that allows Gold to score.  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 44-22-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 20-9-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 11-27-0
Silver Games O/U 33-33-1


Silver/Teal Recap
Silver +0.5 (-135)
Teal -0.5 (+105)

Over 11.5 (-110)
Under 11.5 (-110)

Silver +100
Teal -105

2020 Precious Metals Game 4 Odds
Silver +1.5 (-155)
Gold -1.5 (+115)

Over 14.5 (-110)
Under 14.5 (-110)

Silver +225
Gold -465

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.15

This is the 67th posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another recounted article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.15.  Silver took White to the woodshed and beat them handily by a score of 12 - 2 (there is an error in the league page box score).  The Whites were a little short-handed and also had a rookie goalie in the net, but their lack of offense likely made those points moot.  Silver won outright as dogs, beat the spread (traditionally have struggled with the Whites), hit the over by themselves, and won a lot of faceoffs.  In fact, one player was 100% in FOW.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY
Photo credit L.B. Jeffries
Dustin Gangelhoff - 3 G, 3 A, 3 pregame Lattes

The PLARSHMT & OBMASLF were awarded to Dustin Gangelhoff who got Silver on the board quickly, which lead to the eventual unsurmountable lead.  The Ag Player Silver Spotlight features the same Dustin Gangelhoff, who decided to let a woman make an honest man of himself prior to the Thanksgiving feast.  Gangelhoff is a former Cobalt player that came over in free agency a few years ago for a 1-year deal which included at least $3.75 (if spent at Winner$ on Mich Ultra).  Somehow, he has managed to get an extension each year.

He ain't big but he sure tastes good.

Loins are good.

Recently he ended a 12 year hiatus from hunting deer and went out to get some meat on what he was eyeing as his new future land.  He was successful and that was enough to make him sign his death certificate and go further into debt.  What a success story!

What a beauty! Oh and she looks nice too.

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the main blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) Dustin Gangelhoff
2) Griffith Watson
3) Jeff Harris
Honorable Mention Alex "Coop" Cooper (100% FOW)

Silver is back in action Thursday, 3 December at RALSTON Arena at 8:30 PM.  Silver looks to take down Teal again, being the only team to have defeated them in every game played in the entire BPHL history (2-0-0 this season).  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 43-22-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 20-9-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 10-27-0
Silver Games O/U 32-33-1


Silver/White Recap
Silver +1.0 (-105)
White -1.0 (+105)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +110
White -125

Silver/Teal Odds
Silver +0.5 (-135)
Teal -0.5 (+105)

Over 11.5 (-110)
Under 11.5 (-110)

Silver +100
Teal -105