Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 11

Eleventh posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to the very special 11th volume of Hockey News! BPHL: Special Edition.  Last Thursday night Silver dropped the first game of a home and home series against Gold in another edition of the "Precious Metal" game.

This reporter didn't make the trip to report on this game, thinking Silver likely had it in the bag with the return of Taylor "Breakin' the" Law and the newly acquired UFA Jake "IceGator" Ortmeyer.  Gold jumped out to an early lead, but Silver countered with several goals from Jeff "0% Body Fat" Harris.

Both netminders had a rough go of it as the final tally ended 13 - 14 in favor of the heavier, softer metal.  Jimmy "Dude, Where's My Contact?" Evans developed a rubber allergy shortly before the first period.  Billy Wilson's excuse was the same as the last 10 years, "Hey, I'm pushing 100, what do you want?"  At least it didn't turn out to be a bad beat for the under bettors, with the over hitting sometime during the 2nd period leaving no one in suspense.  Oddsmakers were sure to adjust the lines for the upcoming game and there has been a TON of action on Silver, betting the spread down to just a pair of goals and the moneyline is nearly even.  Look out Gold, road games are sometimes hostile environments.

Stars of the Game
1) Mark Hasebrook
2) Christian Graham
3) Billy Wilson

Silver is back in action this for the Seventh "Battle of the Precious Metals" tonight, Thursday, 28 March at BAXTER arena.  The puck drops at 10:00 CT.  This is a second of the home and home series with Gold and sure to be an absolute barn-burner.  Get your tickets at the door or from your local scalper.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 8-2-0
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 3-5-0
Silver Games O/U 5-5-0

Silver/Gold (3/21) Recap

Silver +150
Gold -160

Over 20.0 (-110)
Under 20.0 (-110)

Silver +3.0 (-135)
Gold -3.0 (-110)

Silver/Gold (3/28) Odds

Silver +130
Gold -120

Over 22.5 (-110)
Under 22.5 (-110)

Silver +2.0 (-115)
Gold -2.0 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 10

Tenth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to the very special 10th volume of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Last night Silver pulled out all the stops against White, unleashing their secret weapon - smothering defense and referee intimidation.

The Baxter Arena crowd was absolutely jacked up to the tunes of Matchbox 20 during warm-ups.  Charbuff was taking some shots with his team but then opted not to play with them despite them only having six skaters.  As it turns out, he still found a way to help his team - more on that later.  Silver squandered many early scoring opportunities and found themselves behind 0 - 2.  The penalty parade continued for Silver as Mike "Jason Bateman" Klingbeil, Paul "Heavy Shot" Bednarz, and at least one more Ag member spent time in the sin bin.  No shorthanded goals were scored ending the incredible shorthanded goal scoring streak at two.

Silver team fought back valiantly by jumping on the back of Jeff Harris as he buried all four of Silver's goals in regulation (foreshadow alert).  This incredible feat vaulted Silver in front by a slim margin of 4 - 3.  That last penalty against Silver ended up biting them as Gangelhoff failed to clear the puck while sprawling on his back (because he had just been slew footed - no call), giving the puck to Ben "Double Rainbow" Maenner who calmly walked in and slipped one past Griff Watson, who had made many tremendous saves throughout the game, but couldn't come up with this one.  Surprisingly, Maenner didn't try to throw a 50 foot high saucer pass over the slot to someone waiting back door - although this reporter has suspicions he is familiar with that entrance.

The next turn of events was extremely odd and came completely out of nowhere.  Charbuff, in between spewing many salacious and extremely vulgar epithets at Silver's own Chris "Angel Mouth" Schneider, who is not prone to anything but polite and gentlemanly behavior, refused to drop the puck until Mr. Schneider had removed himself from the ice.  When asked for an explanation, Charbuff continued to verbally abuse the Silver team member, eventually taking a seat at the scoring table to pout.  Mark "Mama" Harral defused the situation as normal and Chris reluctantly left the ice with just a few minutes remaining in a tie game.

Regulation did end up with the score knotted at 4, leading to the shootout - which has favored Silver (3-0) and White (1-0) this season.  Jeff Harris added his 5th goal of the night going first in the shootout with white tying it up immediately.  Several other shooters came and went with nothing getting by either net-minder.  Finally the call for the current goat of the game to redeem himself for giving up the lead.  Dustin "Big Show" Gangelhoff glided in and put a sick move on the tender, going back to the forehand before firing it between the blocker arm to find the back of the net.  Had Silver celebrated like it was the last shot (it wasn't), the win would likely have been awarded because no one on White or the officiating crew could remember who shot first.  Eventually they figured it out and Griff, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, easily turned aside the last White shooter.  Silver team mobbed him with looks of pure jubilation on their faces.  The win moved Silver to 3-2-0 in the month of March and 5-4-0 over their last nine games.  Silver now has defeated 4 of the 5 opponents (5 of 6 if you count beating themselves).  Black is now squarely in their sights.

Stars of the Game

1) Jeff Harris

2) Griff Watson

3) Dustin Gangelhoff

Silver is back in action this for the sixth "Battle of the Precious Metals" this Thursday, 21 March at Ralston arena.  The puck drops at 8:30 CT.  This is a first of a home and home series with Gold, which will play Silver one week later on their home rink where they are undefeated (Baxter).

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:

Silver ATS 7-2-0

Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0

Silver Money Line (as underdog) 3-4-0

Silver Games O/U 4-5-0

Silver/White Recap

Silver +180

White -210

Over 10.5 (-130)

Under 10.5 (-110) (shootout adds one goal to total)

Silver +3.5 (-110)

White -3.5 (-110)

Silver/Gold Odds

Silver +150

Gold -160

Over 20.0 (-110)

Under 20.0 (-110)

Silver +3.0 (-135)

Gold -3.0 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 9

Ninth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team failed to be the first BPHL team to give Black a loss in regulation last Thursday losing a nail-biter 11 - 3.  Fire power for Black did not falter despite the limited number of skaters available.  Much of Black's main roster were scratched for the game due to undisclosed lower body injuries.

Black conserved their energy early in the game, giving Silver some false hope, but slowly and steadily poured it on, relying heavily on their superb goal-tending.  The lone bright spot came in the first when Silver found themselves shorthanded due to a severe, carving hook by defenseman Jeff Evans.  Centerman Jeff Harris took advantage of a poorly-timed pinch and tucked it home where momma keeps the cookie jar.  That marks consecutive games with a Silver shorthanded marker.  This team continues to make history in 2019.

Charbuff and crew remain a permanent fixture in the spotlight making a number of controversial calls.  The best example of that in this game was the third Silver goal that may or may not have crossed the line and was eventually whistled a goal 17 seconds after being cleared out the zone.  Silver did not complain - nor did the people who took the +7.5 spread.  Alas, it was not to be as Black buried one too many goals.

Stars of the Game

1) Kirk Thompson

2) Bryan Marshall

3) Jeff Harris

Silver takes on White tonight at BAXTER Arena.  The puck drops at 8:45 PM CT.  Silver looks to get their first win against White.  White team will try to make it six straight against Silver.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:

Silver ATS 6-2-0

Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0

Silver Money Line (as underdog) 2-4-0

Silver Games O/U 4-4-0

Silver/Black Recap

Silver +11000

Black -25000

Over 15.5 (-110)

Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +7.5 (-110)

Black -7.5 (-110)

Silver/White Odds

Silver +180

White -210

Over 10.5 (-130)

Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +3.5 (-110)

White -3.5 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 8

Eighth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team shocked the world again Monday, beating a Red team that had won or went to overtime with Silver in all previous 2018-19 regular season meetings.  That's right folks, it looks like the old cliche isn't really a cliche at all.  It's based on real life and Silver is showing that "jelling at the right time" is exactly what a team needs to finish off a season in style.

The on-ice action was tight all night, having as many lead changes as penalties called by the new officiating crew (well almost - hard to have 37 lead changes).  It used to be hard to have 37 penalties, but our league it seems has been changed forever.  Blake Koster, a Lady Byng trophy hopeful prior to the contest, suddenly found himself out of the running last night after a vicious trip in the corner left his stick broken.  The typically hard-working, yet mild-mannered "Bah-LOCK-eh" (as he's known by his teammates) was asked to comment on the call after the game, but surprisingly opted to let the call speak for itself.  It's a shame that PIMs are no longer tracked because the league total would already be approaching a BPHL season record, despite this crew being in action for a mere six games.

As the game was winding down in regulation, Silver found themselves in dire straights trailing by a goal AND (shockingly) shorthanded.  This reporter couldn't hear the rousing speech given by Mitch "4" Staiger from the cozy seat in the press box, but could certainly see the fire in his eyes and feel the passion in his heart.  "WIN A BATTLE BOYS!" was the likely outburst as he skated out to hopefully kill the penalty and keep Silver's chances alive.  Nobody in the Silver dressing room was shocked to see him do his team one better, winning a battle for a loose puck along the wall near the defensive blue line and streaking to a semi-breakaway with a Red defender hot on his skates.  Eventually he pulled away and faked Slattery into the corner, bagging the game-tying-goal. Silver's Robbie Barton went ballistic on the bench and chirped Charbuff as he skated passed, luckily avoiding an unsportsmanlike misconduct penalty and game ejection (probably).

With the massive momentum shift, Silver had no trouble taking the lead behind a bomb clapper from Dustin "Big Show" Gangelhoff (ending an enormously long scoring drought) - he still acted like he'd done it before, skating back to the face-off circle as if nothing happened.  Jeff "Catch Me If You Can" Harris added another insurance goal from an impossible angle (typical) to ice the victory and put Slattery in a right foul mood (Bednarz speared his giggle stick earlier in the game, soliciting a violent reaction from him - no call on either play).  Sources reported that Slats skipped work today in order to have some "me" time and reflect on the game (unconfirmed).

Stars of the Game

1) Mitch "4" Staiger

2) Paul Bednarz

3) "Dakota" Mike Klingbeil

Silver takes on Black this Thursday, 14 March 2019 at RALSTON Arena.  The puck drops at 8:30  PM CT.  This is the second time in as many match-ups that Silver is coming off a two-game win streak to take on an undefeated Black squad, which will be prepping for their very next game against Gold.  Maybe that explains why Black insists on trying to score 50 goals against Silver.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:

Silver ATS 6-1-0

Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0

Silver Money Line (as underdog) 2-3-0

Silver Games O/U 4-3-0

Silver/Red Recap

Silver +190

Red -160

Over 12.5 (-140)

Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +2.5(-110)

Red -2.5 (-110)

Silver/Black Odds

Silver +11000

Black -25000

Over 15.5 (-110)

Under 15.5 (-110)

Silver +7.5 (-110)

Black -7.5 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 7

Seventh posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team continued on their current upward trend last Thursday, winning a rivalry game against the Purple (AKA the league punching bag).  The change of scenery did Silver well, not to mention adding a Golden Griffin to the roster as they cruised to a victory with a score of 10 - 6.

The game wasn't all roses and sunshine as many physical altercations broke out throughout the game due to the tough, hard-nosed play of Silver and the generally cheap, retaliatory actions of Purple.  After taking an early 1-0 lead, Purple team fought back to tie and take the lead (3rd lead of the season, sources) at 3-1.  Chris "Keno Master" Schneider and Jeff "Half the man he used to be" Evans decided to give the Silver team a boost by making an example out of a couple scrawny Purple players by rag-dolling them with one arm after the little pipsqueaks tried to assert domination over them.

Brad "Charbuff" Klaus and his new assistant referee, "Big Country" weren't having any of it making sure the guilty parties paid for their crimes by sitting one and a half minutes by themselves and made to feel shame before getting free.  In fact, there was a record set on penalties called during the game and a near fight broke loose in the scoring booth when "Flame ON" was screaming about the correct face-off location after the coincidental penalties were assessed and whether or not it was 5 on 5 or 4 on 4.  Nobody really knew the answer because this rule has always been confusing because it is different from league to league and rule book to rule book.  Eventually Mark Harral fired his .50 cal pistol 7 times in the air and Charbuff dropped the puck and play resumed.

Silver used these raucous events to rally and quickly spring-boarded back into the lead, adding a few insurance goals late that had special significance for group of unnamed degenerate gamblers.

Silver will try and make it a streak tonight BACK at Ralston Arena.  The puck drops at 10:00 PM CT.  As seems customary, the third and final game on the BPHL slate is the best.

Correction: Last week's article quoted the incorrect time for the post-game meet and greet which is why the fans probably left before the players arrived - or more likely decided not to show up since the game was still going on.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:

Silver ATS 5-1-0

Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0

Silver Money Line (as underdog) 1-3-0

Silver Games O/U 3-3-0

Silver/Purple Recap

Silver -190

Purple +2500

Over +13.5 (-130)

Under -13.5 (+120)

Silver -3.0 (-110)

Purple +3.0 (-110)

Silver/Red Odds

Silver +190

Red -160

Over 12.5 (-140)

Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +2.5(-110)

Red -2.5 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 6

Sixth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team dropped a tight one on Monday 7-11 against Gold.  Missing Captain Jeff Evans and Alternate Captain Jim DeRouchey, Paul Bednarz stepped in to be the vocal leader on the bench to keep the boys rallied and ready. 

After seeing the lead go from Silver to Gold to tied and back again through 2.5 periods, Gold finally started trying again and polished off Silver with a 11-7 victory.  A broken stick thrown into the crowd NARROWLY missed the cheering fans because it luckily landed in the aisle.  No unsportsmanlike penalty was given.  When asked about the incident, Brad "Charbuff" Klaus said, "If I didn't see it, it didn't happen. By the way, tell Evans I love their wings."  Silver team dodged a bullet on that one, but would probably rather had that call along with the several other missed offside calls missed by the official.

Silver looks to get back on track against Purple tonight at BAXTER ARENA (auxiliary ice).  Doors open at 6:00 PM CT and the puck drops at 9:45 PM CT.  Only standing room only tickets available.

Post-game meet the players event is scheduled to start at 10:30 PM CT at Pauli's Lounge in Aksarben Village.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:

Silver ATS 4-1-0

Silver Money Line (as favorite) 1-0-0

Silver Money Line (as underdog) 1-3-0

Silver Games O/U 2-3-0

Silver/Gold Recap

Silver +790

Gold -1100

Over 21.5 (-110)

Under 21.5 (-110)

Silver +3.5 (-110)

Gold -3.5 (-110)

Silver/Purple Odds

Silver -190

Purple +2500

Over +13.5 (-130)

Under -13.5 (+120)

Silver -3.0 (-110)

Purple +3.0 (-110)

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 5

Fifth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team continued on the upward trend despite losing last Thursday to White in a 4-2 thriller.

Although the game was on the road and not televised, this reporter has a pretty good idea as to what took place.  Harris scored 2 goals and some combination of Hutton/Kallhoff/McGilvrey/Arnold got 4 goals past Martens/Watson/Evans to barely secure the victory.

Silver is back in action tonight at 8:45 PM CT versus Gold at Ralston Arena.  Healthy scratches already on the books - Jim "Viva Las Vegas" DeRouchey, Jeff "KETO" Evans, and Adam "Killer" Collette.  Mitch "4" Staiger is listed as a "Game Time Decision."

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Silver/White Recap

Silver +250
White -450

Over 14.5 (-110)
Under 14.5 (-110)

Silver +4.5 (-110)
White -4.5 (-110)

Silver/Gold Odds

Silver +790
Gold -1100

Over 21.5 (-110)
Under 21.5 (-110)

Silver +3.5 (-110)
Gold -3.5 (-110)