Thursday, October 8, 2015

I WANT PEOPLE THAT WANNA WIN!

Continued with a good second week, which has been updated with results here.  Also here is a brief summary:
  • WVU +7 @ OU - LOSS 24 - 44 (Margin +20) Was a 7 point game with just over a quarter to play. Then it all fell apart.

  • Alabama +1.0 @ Georgia - WIN 38 - 10 (Margin -28) Whoopin' from start to finish.

  • Texas Tech +17 @ Baylor - LOSS 35 - 63 (Margin +28) Baylor's offense is stupid along with Big 12 defenses.

  • Nebraska @ Illinois +7 - WIN 13 - 14 (Margin -1) Despite getting shorted a down, this one was over early second half when Nebraska forgot how to make points.

  • Kansas St. +7.5 @ Oklahoma St. - WIN 34 - 36 (Margin +2) Failed 2PT and late field goal kept this one out of KSU's grasp.

  • Ole Miss @ Florida +7.5 - WIN 10 - 38 (Margin -28) Whoopin' from start to finish.

  • Vanderbilt +3 @ Midd. Tenn St. - WIN 17 - 13 (Margin -4) SEC vs. Conf. USA? SEC better win that game.  I don't care if it's Vanderbilt.

  • Notre Dame +2 @ Clemson - PUSH 22 - 24 (Margin +2) If the Catholics would have kicked the PATs instead of chasing 2PT conversions when only down 12 with an entire quarter to play, they might still be playing this game.  Glad they didn't because OT might have cost me. Push is a win! Or maybe they shouldn't have turned it over 4 times. Yeah, maybe that.

  • Arizona +13.5 @ Stanford - LOSS 17 - 55 (Margin +38) Yikes!  I forgot Anu Solomon was out. Probably not the best move.

  • MIN +7 @ DEN - WIN 20 - 23 (Margin +3) Denver is more overrated than normal this season, but that defense is good.

NCAA Week 5/NFL Week 4 Record:  6-3-1

Overall 2015 Football Season Record:  10-5-1

Without further ado, here are your NCAA Week 6/NFL Week 5 Picks!  Oct 6 - Oct 12 WINNERS!

Akron @ E. Mich +7.5  LOSS

Kent St. +14.5 @ Toledo  LOSS

Ga. Tech +7.5 @ Clemson  LOSS

Georgia @ Tennessee +3  WIN

Syracuse +2 @ So. Florida  LOSS

Wisconsin +1.5 @ Nebraska  WIN EDIT @ 10:49 AM CDT 10/10/15. Reverse line movement has told me that this pick might be bad. I would change it to Nebraska +2.5.  WIN

Northwestern +7.5 @ Michigan  LOSS

TCU @ Kansas St. +10.5  WIN

CHI +10 @ KC  WIN

BUF @ TEN +1  PUSH

ARI @ DET +2.5 (this one really stinks)  LOSS

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Winner$ Experiment Week 2

Started off with a good first week, which has been updated with results here.  Also here is a brief summary:
  • Maryland +17 @ WVU - LOSS: 6 - 45 (Margin +39) My tribute to SVP did NOT pay off. Terps suck.

  • Midd. Tenn St. +4 @ Illinois - WIN: 25 - 27 (Margin +2) Failed 2PT and late 51 yard field goal kept Blue Raiders from an outright win.

  • Miss. State +2.5 @ Auburn - WIN: 17 - 9 (Margin -8)  Was a bit afraid of this because I thought the Bulldogs should have been favored. Must have been a home game thing. Auburn is terrible.

  • Ohio +10.5 @ Minnesota - WIN: 24 - 27 (Margin +3)  This was just hometown knowledge.  Almost like stealing.

  • UMass +29.5 @ Notre Dame - LOSS: 27 - 62 (Margin +35)  One garbage time TD away from backdoor cover.

  • PHI +1 @ NYJ - WIN:  24 - 17 (Margin -7) Thought the 2-0 Jets (who looked good) playing the 0-2 Eagles (who looked like garbage) should have been favored by more than 1 at home. Stinky line. Jump on the dog.
NCAA Week 4/NFL Week 3 Record:  4-2-0

Overall 2015 Football Season Record:  4-2-0

NCAA Week 5/NFL Week 4 Picks!  Sep. 29 - Oct 5

WVU +7 @ OU  LOSS

Alabama +1.0 @ Georgia  WIN

Texas Tech +17 @ Baylor  LOSS

Nebraska @ Illinois +7  WIN

Kansas St. +7.5 @ Oklahoma St.  WIN

Ole Miss @ Florida +7.5  WIN

Vanderbilt +3 @ Midd. Tenn St.  WIN

Notre Dame +2 @ Clemson  PUSH

Arizona +13.5 @ Stanford  WIN

MIN +7 @ DEN  WIN

Thursday, September 24, 2015

I Want Winners!

After a prolonged absence, I've decided that my web presence needed to be pumped back up to a healthier level.  All I needed to do was to figure out how to accomplish that feat.  After months passed and countless man-hours were spent in the think tank brainstorming, scheming, plotting, and pondering thousands of ideas for the blog reformat project, my people still came up with zero good solutions to the problem at hand.

Who needs a new idea anyway?  Take something that is proven, and copy it.  Original ideas don't exist anymore, not really.  Those ideas that seem new are just copied from something else that is good and probably tweaked just a bit to seem new, but it's really just another form of the same thing.

Example 1:  There is an event that will have one of two outcomes.  Let people choose between the two outcomes with the promise of a prize.  To be eligible for the prize, let people give you something of value that is equal to the promised prize, plus ten percent.  After the event reaches one of the two outcomes, return everything plus the prize to people with a correct outcome choice.  Keep everything you collected from the people with an incorrect outcome choice.  As long as the value collected from either side does not exceed 52.38% of the total value collected, you will have made a gain in your collection.  There is one more thing.  You can manipulate which outcome is more likely to be chosen simply by adjusting the odds of the outcomes.  That way, you can make sure the value of one side stays under 52.38%, thus ensuring you make gains on every outcome you offer to people.  It sounds complicated and it is, to the people choosing between outcomes of events.  It isn't really that complicated for you, since you are creating a win-win scenario for yourself on every event.

The last paragraph is describing how sports gambling works in the most basic terms.

Event = Any sporting event
Choosing an outcome = placing a bet on a sporting event
Prize = dollar value of payout to correct bets
Something of value equal to the prize plus ten percent = dollar value of bet

Organizations who take bets (from now on known as the house) rarely lose money on bets because they set it up that way.  The best scenario for the house leaves them with zero risk (i.e., the value of bets place on each side is split 52.38% to 47.62% or less when using the above bet/payout ratio, which is: Bet $110, win $100. $210 total payout).  The house wins nothing on a 52.38% to 47.62% split and loses money on anything higher.  As the split gets closer to 50/50, the house makes more money.  If bets are split 50/50, the house pays the winners 100% of their money back (50% of the pot), plus their payout, which is 45.45% of the pot (part of the losing side's money).  That is a total payout of 95.45%, which leaves the house its cut of 4.55% of all money bet.  That may not seem like much, but considering the risk is zero as long as the house keeps the money bet on either side relatively equal, it's free cash.  Take $1 million in bets, keep it 50/50 for both sides, net $45.5K.  It's lucrative.

Example 2:  I don't want to come up with a vague way to describe Fantasy Sports (so I'm not going to), but Fantasy Sports is example 2 of something that is good.  By "good," I mean it attracts people to participate.  I'm still not convinced it is actually good and have contemplated quitting fantasy sports altogether, many, many times.

Put examples 1 and 2 together, give them a little tweak, and you get the phenomenon that has completely taken over television advertising and happens to be a billion dollar industry: Daily Fantasy Sports (DFS) (AKA Draft Kings, Fan Duel, etc.)  Two good things put together, tweaked to seem new, but actually is still a form of the same thing.  My point is made.  New ideas are for the birds!

Please don't try and tell me that DFS is not gambling because it is "skill-based."  I'm already not listening.  Sports gambling is skill-based too, but it's still freakin' gambling.  The people with the skill in either scenario are few and far between.  These people also have unlimited information available to them, and even more likely, unlimited funds relative to the typical degenerates who end up losing their house or fingers because they are actually just GAMBLING.

If you are putting money down on an outcome which you have no control over to try and win money, that's gambling.  Plain and simple.  Playing normal fantasy sports is and always has been gambling anyways.  Typically it involves a lot less money, but it's still gambling.  Nobody is out there playing fantasy sports for the thrill of victory or pride.  If you are, then you are an idiot, or a better man than I.  I'm not convinced which one.

There are people with a very particular set of skills that allow them to win money "gambling."  Basically they are stealing money from your average joe gambler who thinks they might just WIN A MILLION DOLLARS on a $25 investment.  (Sidebar: Hmmmm, that sounds familiar.....oh yeah, it's called the lottery.)  Let's call the guys with the skills, Sharps.  There are Sharps in both worlds (sports gambling and DFS).  The Sharps decrease your chances of winning down to lottery-type odds.

This is what I imagine a sharp to look like.

I used to be one of those guys who thought I could win a significant amount of money on sports betting.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like I never won any bets!  John Q. Gambler will probably win quite a few bets too!  The point is, if you continue long enough and you aren't a sharp, you are going to lose.  I carried on betting regularly for just under a year.  I wagered as little as $4 on parlays and as much as $67 on straight bets.  All in all, I put just under $5K on the line.  How much did I have to show for it?  A whopping $171.57 (Yes it is exactly that much, I tracked it in a spreadsheet).  That's mostly (only) because I put $10 on the Dallas Mavericks to win the NBA title at 20/1.  So for all the agony and stress that my gambling gave me, I decided it wasn't quite worth it any more.

Also, I will never do DFS.  I think it's the one of the dumbest things you can do gambling.  I can't wait for it to actually be considered GAMBLING (it will be soon), because maybe then I won't have to hear all the advertisements.  At least with sports gambling, I knew who my opponent was, the house, odds makers that have lots of data to set the line or spread in order to favor themselves.  In DFS you are going up against thousands of people in the contests and probably hundreds of them have greater informational and financial resources than me.  I think there are head to head DFS match ups, but that seems even more like straight up gambling to me.  All of this is leading up to my original point of this post, where I'm going to start gambling on sports again, sort of.  I don't know how I got this far off track.  I guess I needed to explain it to myself (literally, since zero people are going to read this).

I'm not about to jump back in head first.  I'm going to drop a toe in, see how it feels, tease the water a bit.  Maybe I won't even get all the way in.  Maybe I'll decide the waters aren't inviting enough.  As I'm writing this, I remember why I went on a long-winded rant about new ideas and combining good ideas with tweaks!  It's because I'm going to copy someone else's good idea as an experiment.  ESPN talent Scott Van Pelt has given out 5 bets (he calls the segment WINNERS) each week (for entertainment purposes only) for as long as I have listened to his radio program which has shifted over to his television program.  As he has oft said, "I don't want to win 'em all, just 53%."  Not sure on the actual percentage he uses in the quote, but he is alluding to what I mentioned before, if you win 52.38% of your bets with the typical bet/payout ratio of $110/100, you won't lose money (of course at that percent you won't win either, but in gambling - a push is a win and if you aren't losing, you're winning).

For the last two years, SVP has done just a little bit better (than 53%) against the spread (against the number), which inclined me to listen up just a little bit, because of his strategy.  He does more research than I do (probably), but he basically looks for the worst spreads available and bets all underdogs.  The reasoning behind it is very interesting and it has to do with the Sharps.  Lines that are stinky (as he calls them) usually show a team that is perceived by public opinion to be much better than their opponent, but favored by a smaller margin.  The explanation for that is simple, the Sharps have enough money on one side to keep the line from moving up, even with all the money John Q. Gambler and the public are putting on it.  That's it.  So if you are good at identifying those lines that stink, you are essentially getting the Sharps knowledge with little effort and all the reward!  That's how SVP has picked slightly better than 60% against the number for two years straight.  Now don't get crazy, at that rate, you are only winning $14.45 for every $100 you wager, but that's why it's not profitable unless you have tons of money to invest.  It's quite remarkable.

I'm going to give out my own winners and see how I do (for entertainment purposes only).  SVP gives out 5 each week, so I might limit it to that after a few weeks, but I'm not starting out that way.  Have to tweak it a little, right?

Week of Sep 22-28.  I WANT WINNERS!

  +17 @   LOSS
                     +4 @   WIN
 +2.5 @  Auburn WIN
  +10.5 @  WIN
 +29.5 @  LOSS
        +1 @  WIN

Friday, July 10, 2015

Friday, July 12, 2013

Ode to Taco Bell

So last night I'm pulling through the Taco Bell drive-thru and I am feeling super psyched to destroy two of the best menu items that have ever been available at the fine franchise.  Of course, I'm referring to the newly re-instated Beefy Crunch Burrito and the Cheesy Gordita Crunch (it's crun-chew-eesy).  Just pretend that the guy in this video is me.  It pretty much sums up how I feel.

It's about 10:30 on a Thursday night and this particular drive through seems a tad bit backed up.  I pull up behind a big dually pick-up that is at the ordering intercom.  After the order is completed, the truck begins to pull forward and the back left tires get up on the curb, then they start scraping a plastic protective bumper post in the grass. I think to myself "This guy has never driven a big truck before.....or he's half in the bag."  I was erroneous on both counts. This drive-thru is a tad tight around the corner to the pick-up window.  It has a retaining wall that butts up against the side of a hill, so there is definitely potential to scrape the wall if you turn too wide, or have a nice curb check if you turn to tight.  This truck was already hugging the wrong side of the curb and had no chance at its current position to make the turn with out jumping the curb and running over the NEXT plastic protective bumper (which I do believe has an actual concrete or metal pole inside the thin candy shell, I'm surprised you didn't know that).

The next thing I know, both tires have hopped the curb and now the truck is trying to back up, but the mirror is hitting the bumper on the way back.  I've already ordered and there is another car pulled up behind me.  I am thinking that my chances of getting my order from the window have gone to zero and the chances of my car getting backed in to have gone to 99%.  Then some kid (presumably her son from a car back?) walks up to the truck and starts talking to the driver.  Then the driver almost gets out of the car and by golly it's a nice middle-aged lady..... Now I understand what's happening here.  After some discussion, the kid begins directing her as she backs and then as she goes around the turn.  It was fairly successful, I began taking a video of it just in case something exciting happened.

The kid then stops to talk to me and explained that she asked him to drive the truck through AND that he did not know that woman at all.  He also said she looked "high as fuck."  It was pretty entertaining, even though the ordeal took an extra 15 minutes.  I thought it was a neat little story to share, considering I've never seen anything like it.  I once tried to back all the way out of a Taco Bell drive-thru because it was taking too long and we had 'borrowed' my friends truck over lunch and were running out of time.  I subsequently smashed the front quarter panel in to a light pole as I backed up rather hastily.... To be fair, I was only 16 and this story isn't about MY driving, so let's just get back to the real story.

I get my bag of food and head home.  As I pull out my first item, thinking it must be the gordita crunch since it doesn't feel like a burrito, I come to find out it isn't a gordita OR a burrito.  It's a freaking Chalupa Supreme!  Now I frantically dig through the rest of the bag to see what else I had.  One more Chalupa Supreme and a hard shell taco.  I carefully reviewed my receipt, it clearly has MY order on it.  I also remember being specifically asked if the items on the order screen were correct, to which I replied a resounding "YES!"  My order was two Beefy Crunch burritos and one Cheesy Gordita Crunch.  As I scratched my head and made this face, I didn't become mad, angry, irate, furious, or pissed off.  Not because I am a forgiving person and I can't bring myself to get angry at Taco Bell employees for their incompetence.  (Sidebar: I used to hate lettuce on any of my taco bell food and would basically throw a shit fit and pout if there was lettuce on it when I specifically always say NO GODDAMN LETTUCE, but then I turned 29 and grew up so it's all good now)  It was because the food I got looked pretty freaking good!  I never order Chalupas because they are more expensive, I think? (can't really be sure because I never order them!)  As for the other item, who am I to scoff at a crispy hard shell taco?

I told one of my favorite Taco Bell eating partners about my experience and how I wasn't really mad.  Yes, I consider one of my friends a Taco Bell eating partner, it's not weird.  We just happen to eat Taco Bell almost every night we've ever hung out and share a passion for food.  He restated my situation with the silver lining that had just come to fruition upon eating my meal, "The good thing is it's tough to be too disappointed, no matter what you pull from a tbell bag."  Which led me to having an even greater appreciation of Taco Bell.  It's not just a fast (usually), inexpensive place to enjoy fritos mashed up with cheesy beefy goodness.  No, Taco Bell is so much more than that.  It's a place where friendships are formed, memories are made (3rd and 4th paragraphs), and taste buds are delighted.  This night at the drive-thru (sounds like a bad Ben Stiller movie title) brought me to realize one more thing that makes TBell a pretty unique place, because it's not just anywhere you can get the COMPLETE wrong order and still have a very delicious and satisfying meal.  Here's to you TBell.  Live más!


SUCH A GOOD DEAL!

Been in love since it hit the menu. Don't ever change!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Really?

Unless this book is making fun of the world and it's technology dependence, the world must be coming to an end.  I have no idea if it is, but I really really, really, really, hope Ann Droyd (get it?) is not the Angel of Death just waiting to end it all.

God save us?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bringing Back Comments

I was reading Jum Hammonds' blog and realized that he needs some help.  For some time now the ability to comment on The Slice posts have been disabled due to spammers.  I've had the same problem (although probably on a much smaller scale) and I just delete the email alerts I receive throughout the day.  Sure turning the alerts off, or disabling comments would stop the annoying spammers from bothering me, but A) let's be honest....I haven't written a post since March 2011, which makes me a bit on the lazy side, 2) I like that someone still visits this page, and D) getting emails boosts my fragile self esteem.

Anyway, you know the word verification things you sometimes have to type in when doing important transactions on the interwebs? Things like, buying tickets on StubHub, Ticketmaster, TwinsBaseball.com and other things like that?  The stupid and annoying and usually difficult to read non-sensical combination of letters/numbers such as Plhsita3 or snOkfe1.  You do know what I'm talking about? Well, I remembered that putting the word verification on the comment page was an option, probably for the very reason of keeping the foreign language spamming out of our blog commenting world.  For testing purposes, I have turned on the word verification for commenting on this post.  So I guess that is it, try and make a comment now you dirty spammers!  Even though the word verification thing is a nuisance, I think it's a fair price to pay to get the comment board rolling again for The Slice.  I haven't heard from Random Ted in a while.

I will probably still miss my email alerts....

Since this is a pretty lame excuse for a post, here are a few things I've been doing to occupy my time.

I saw John Smoltz.  PHX airport on a Sunday night. Watching SNB while his wife played with her phone.

I saw A baseball stadium. #14

I saw another baseball stadium. #15

We made a trip to the Tournament of Roses.  It was a great trip overall that started with New Year's in Vegas, the Rose Parade, and a fantastic student athelete football match between the Ducks and Badgers minus the Rose Parade.  Not sure how I could ever miss another Rose Bowl.  It's a tradition that I will make a big effort to continue for years to come.  (Unless flights don't come down from $800 from now until Jan. 1.)

Addy D is ready for some football.

Even the tickets are beautiful.

View from our actual seats. Not bad.

Our upgraded seats. Even better.