Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 3.04

This is the fifty-sixth posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another steamy article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition Vol: 3.04.  Silver and Black squared off in the second night of BPHL regular season action this past Thursday.  The Black roster consisted of only six skaters and one goalie, which would normally seem like good news for the opposing team, but when three of the six players never leave the ice and have iron lungs and a seemingly unlimited supply of energy, it turns out that anyone can win.  Silver jumped out to an early lead, which may have been the worst thing for them (although, they've fallen behind Black multiple times and never mounted a comeback, so the staff here at Hockey News! can see both sides of the argument).  The game remained close throughout until a wave of Black goals swung the margin to four in favor of the bad guys (the Blacks - obviously).  A key moment in the game came when A-A-Ron Martens, caught out of the net after making several acrobatic saves, dove superman-style across the crease, from one corner of the net to the other to rob Vader of a one-timer goal.  You could hear him yelling as he sailed through the air, "Not on my watch!"  Although the shot was a big muffin (as if Vader would have anything but), the save was still the night's number one play on SportsCenter (via fb live feed).

Black's newest NHL recruit, Matson Marinera, netted several goals for his new team, while wearing shoulder pads and announcing his presence with authority, making sure no one would get within stick length of him.  Marinera, a player with such veteran status one would assume to have excellent stick control, may have turned the tide for Black by taking out Jake Mullendore, one of Silver's many skilled forwards, by hacking his face off causing blood to spew all over the ice.  The injury seemed to rally Silver for a brief moment, but in the end it wasn't enough, as Silver eventually lost 9 - 12.

PRESTIGIOUS LA ROSS SILVER HELMET MEMORIAL TROPHY

Photo Credit L.B. Jeffries

#4 - 3 G, 4 hunting tips, 3 flu shots

The Prestigious LA Ross Silver Helmet Memorial Trophy and the Obscure Bryan "Mario" Alexander Silver Lancers Fedora was unofficially awarded to #4.  The newly introduced feature called the Ag Player Silver Spotlight again is shining on the most recent player of the game.  For those of you that didn't know, #4 (known to very few as Mitch Staiger) is a local pharmacist owner with stores in Omaha and North Bend.  That's right folks, for all your pharmaceutical needs, come on out to both Medicine Man Pharmacy locations.  Their average rating is an outstanding 5.0 out of 5.0 and they sell more then just meds - they offer wellness classes, medication therapy management, travel vaccinations, immunizations, BEER, and much, much more!

When asked about his love of pharmacology, #4 said, "I was drawn to the pharmacy field because I truly love helping people and helping to improve their health.  I grew up in Minnesota, graduated from the University of Minnesota Duluth in 2008 [B.S. Bio].  After graduation I went to pharmacy school at Creighton University where I graduated in 2012 with my PharmD.  In 2014, I joined the Medicine Man team. What I enjoy most about my job is the patient interaction and getting to know the people I help every day.  [It also doesn't require work at night very often so I can support the Silver team's run for one.] In my free time I love to play hockey, hunt and fish."  

OBSCURE BRYAN "MARIO" ALEXANDER SILVER LANCERS FEDORA

Photo Credit L.B. Jeffries

#4 - B.S. Bio/PharmD at Winner$ (presumably after a win but not guaranteed)

In other team news, Silver has added another player for at least a mid-season call up tryout after losing two players almost before the season started.  Reid Johnson, who has played many games with the club in previous seasons, was back on the ice last week.  Sources close to Hockey News! did not provide the full time-table for Johnson's return.  Meanwhile, Ba-la-key Koster is expected to suit up for Silver for a few more games before the deal with Platte Valley Auto is finalized.

Don't forget to check out the archives of all your favorite Hockey News! articles that really capture the spirit of the thing over at the blog site www.ddunnwrotethis.blogspot.com.  Keep in mind that the perfect accessory for the man in your life, is a season ticket to Silver team's games.

Stars of the Game

1) #4
2) Jake Mullendore
3) Geoffrey Haugen

Silver takes to the ice tonight against Gold in this season's first PRECIOUS METALS game.  It is again DOZEN EGG night as the puck drops at RALSTON ARENA at 10:00 PM.  Each fan will receive a dozen jumbo-sized eggs with any purchase of a large beverage at the concession stand (limit 5 dozen per customer).  This is the first time Gold and Silver have played since the now infamous March 2020 game that resulted in several fines and suspensions coming down from the league office.  In fact, the entire Gold roster was suspended indefinitely from that point forward, with the suspension only being lifted in October 2020.  What kind of goons do you have to be to get suspended for 7 months?  Come on down to the Ralston Arena, bring the kids!  We've got entertainment for the whole family.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner
Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 36-18-1
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 16-7-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 9-23-0
Silver Games O/U 27-27-1

Silver/Black Recap

Silver +6.5 (-110)
Black -6.5 (-110)

Over 10.5 (-110)
Under 10.5 (-110)

Silver +150
Black -1,000

Precious Metals Game Odds
Silver +4.5 (-110)
Gold -4.5 (-110)

Over 12.5 (-110)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +125
Gold -700