I just don’t see what it’s supposed to be. What is it replacing? How is this device making my life better? Is it a phone? No. It is everything but a phone. Where have I seen THAT before? An iPod touch maybe? So Apple made a bigger iPod touch or as the world is now calling it, a giPod* (pronounced jī – păhd), and changed one letter in the name. It seems to me that Apple ran out of ideas so they decided to create this monstrosity that looks impressive, but has no practical use unless of course, we were a planet of giants! We are not a planet of giants, yet. A guy can dream can't he? I mean, how cool would it be if we were giants? This giPod would actually be practical and the OLD iPod would be too small and outdated. Maybe apple is just ahead of its time on this one. Anyways, back to the point....
What features does the giPod have that make it different from the current iPod? There are a couple that I did see, but they are only there to make the giPod more like a laptop, which is great, if you don’t have a laptop and like 9.7-inch screens with only 64 GB of max memory.
Different features that make giPod better:
Bigger screen - If there is a size that is too big, this is it. Just big enough to not fit in your pocket, so it requires a protective case when transporting around, like a laptop. If you have to carry it around like a laptop then it might as well be normal laptop. I can see where they went wrong with this idea. If we watch a movie or TV, what do we want to watch it on? A bigger screen. If we want to surf the internet on our computer, what do we want to surf it on? A bigger screen. What could make the iPod touch better? A bigger.... wait, we've sold over 250 million iPods**, maybe the screen size isn't the problem (is there even a problem?).
Keyboard plug-in dock - If the touch screen keyboard is so fantastic, why on earth would this even be an option? Answer: The keyboard isn't big enough. Now if you want to dock your giPod to a keyboard, you are carrying a laptop that has two pieces. Is that progress?
iBooks - Awesome, you can have all your books on here and read them anytime you want. How many books can you read at once? I can only read one, so I don't see the advantage of carrying them all around at once. Oh yeah, don't forget, you can't put the books you already own on there. You have to buy them. Basically, this thing puts books at your fingertips so Apple can bank more coin. Also, don't get too far away from an outlet when you are reading, I doubt the battery lasts long enough for your entire read. My trusty paperback doesn't need to recharge.
3G coverage - This isn't even available on the $499 version. If you want it, you have to pay over $800 so you might as well buy a laptop. Also, 3G coverage is a data plan that is sold separately (of course that goes conveniently unmentioned in the promo), exactly like paying for the internet at your house, or on your cell phone (except you can't call or text people).
You need to watch the promo video on the giPod so you can laugh at the other things they talk about i.e. the calendar "We've created a calendar application like nothing you've ever seen on a computer before." Really? What can you possibly do to make a calendar better? IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE! I also like the guy talking about the video application, "You see something, you touch it and it just starts playing!" That's funny, because when I click on movies on my computer, somewhere in the world, a butterfly loses its wings.
Let's break it down real quick. Apple tries to consider the giPod a better laptop but it just isn't. It tries to be small enough so it can be considered easily portable, but it just isn't for the simple fact that it doesn't fit in your pocket. The giPod is in a sizewise no-man's land. I could literally go on and on about how ridiculous this thing is, but I'll give it a rest, for now. I'm sure it will sell. People always want to have the coolest new thing. I'll admit, I want it right meow. I might even buy it if my prediction below doesn't come true in 6-8 months. For now though, I'm going to appeal to my logical side until I win the lottery.
Obviously this is a test on the intelligence of the human race, some sort of massive, electronically sophisticated social experiment. I believe that there is more to it though; there is a greater meaning behind it, aside from pointing out the morons in the world. Someone is using this giPod to easily identify people in the world who don’t deserve to live. What am I saying? Read between the lines. I’m saying that buying a giPod is like signing your own death sentence. I don't know who is behind this yet, but I like it.
*Copyright Dangelhoff 2010
**Apple CEO Jobs, Steve 2010
5 comments:
I thought it was a fairy that died when you clicked on movies on your computer. Maybe I'm wrong.
-Meow
How about the guy with the shaved head and stubble that are exactly the same length. I thought that was impressive. I'm not sure the point of it either, it doesn't have any memory. I really wish you could make phone calls with it then it would be cool.
It doesn't have to be anything practical, just look at the picture, it looks friggin' awesome! I'm sold.
I said I wanted it didn't I? I don't care what it does. I just want to carry it around. Probably doubles as a pillow. Apple says it does everything.
MacGyver would want one for sure!
-Meow
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