Monday, March 11, 2019

Hockey News! Special Edition Vol: 7

Seventh posting of the news articles from the Beer and Pretzel Hockey League written by the beat writer that covers the league.  He calls himself Dickie Dunn - his true identity is unknown.

Greetings hockey fans and welcome to another article of Hockey News BPHL: Special Edition.  Silver team continued on their current upward trend last Thursday, winning a rivalry game against the Purple (AKA the league punching bag).  The change of scenery did Silver well, not to mention adding a Golden Griffin to the roster as they cruised to a victory with a score of 10 - 6.

The game wasn't all roses and sunshine as many physical altercations broke out throughout the game due to the tough, hard-nosed play of Silver and the generally cheap, retaliatory actions of Purple.  After taking an early 1-0 lead, Purple team fought back to tie and take the lead (3rd lead of the season, sources) at 3-1.  Chris "Keno Master" Schneider and Jeff "Half the man he used to be" Evans decided to give the Silver team a boost by making an example out of a couple scrawny Purple players by rag-dolling them with one arm after the little pipsqueaks tried to assert domination over them.

Brad "Charbuff" Klaus and his new assistant referee, "Big Country" weren't having any of it making sure the guilty parties paid for their crimes by sitting one and a half minutes by themselves and made to feel shame before getting free.  In fact, there was a record set on penalties called during the game and a near fight broke loose in the scoring booth when "Flame ON" was screaming about the correct face-off location after the coincidental penalties were assessed and whether or not it was 5 on 5 or 4 on 4.  Nobody really knew the answer because this rule has always been confusing because it is different from league to league and rule book to rule book.  Eventually Mark Harral fired his .50 cal pistol 7 times in the air and Charbuff dropped the puck and play resumed.

Silver used these raucous events to rally and quickly spring-boarded back into the lead, adding a few insurance goals late that had special significance for group of unnamed degenerate gamblers.

Silver will try and make it a streak tonight BACK at Ralston Arena.  The puck drops at 10:00 PM CT.  As seems customary, the third and final game on the BPHL slate is the best.

Correction: Last week's article quoted the incorrect time for the post-game meet and greet which is why the fans probably left before the players arrived - or more likely decided not to show up since the game was still going on.

Remember, Dickie Dunn wrote this, so it's gotta be true

Gambling Corner

Since 2/14/19:
Silver ATS 5-1-0
Silver Money Line (as favorite) 2-0-0
Silver Money Line (as underdog) 1-3-0
Silver Games O/U 3-3-0

Silver/Purple Recap

Silver -190
Purple +2500

Over +13.5 (-130)
Under -13.5 (+120)

Silver -3.0 (-110)
Purple +3.0 (-110)

Silver/Red Odds

Silver +190
Red -160

Over 12.5 (-140)
Under 12.5 (-110)

Silver +2.5(-110)
Red -2.5 (-110)

No comments: