Don't read if thirsty

The Thanksgiving weekend was an enjoyable one. Despite the drive, I was able to arrive at 10 pm. Unfortuanely, the drive itself did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. I wasn't in a crash or got a speeding ticket (not that those things weren't well deserved) but, something happened that I feel was odd and extraordinary. It never happens to me and that is why I feel this story must be told.

There was an extremely uncomfortable, dare I say painful, stretch of my journey that spanned basically the entire state of South Dakota. As I left Omaha, or 'The HUH!!' as I like to call it, my silver chariot had just over a quarter tank of gas. This led me to have a planned stop in Sioux City or thereabouts to re-fuel and get some of my normal road trip drinks: diet mtn dew (it’s not mountain anymore folks, just look at the logo), Amp, Starbucks Frappachino, and Arizona Arnold Palmer Lite. Anytime I travel, some combination of these drinks will be consumed. Despite the amount of liquid I have on any given trip, I NEVER need to relieve myself outside the normal fuel stops that are necessary whilst driving long distances. I pride myself on that fact. I see it as a weakness and, if you are riding with me, I won't hesitate to ridicule you for your shortcomings. This stems from my father never stopping on road trips, which got me used to it, and from me wanting to get where I’m going absolutely as fast as possible, so I would hold it for hours at a time. It's almost as if my pride swells in unison with my bladder. Obviously being able to fight mother nature longer than the next guy makes you more of a man.

I figured my 2nd stop to be in Fargo which google maps tells me is 300 miles away from my aforementioned planned stop in Elk Point, SD where I did purchase fuel for the car and body. I must not have shook hands with the governor long enough at my stop because I had to go the second I got back on the interstate . Thinking about it right now makes me have to go. An hour or so later, I was considering going for the 1 liter DMD bottle. That's an easy move to pull off if you aren't driving but, since I was and I didn't want to risk missing my target, I held off. Even though I was feeling real pain and actually dancing around in my seat as I drove, I still thought it would pass and I could make it to Fargo even though I was a good 250 miles out. I really thought I could beat it and it kind of became a challenge. That's the kind of stubborness I have sometimes, usually about something little i.e. saving 7 minutes on an 8 hour drive home. It's important.

I finally broke down and stopped in Sisseton, SD (irony anyone?). That's 90 miles from Fargo. Imagine if I would have tried to hold it for another hour+. I might have exploded, quite possibly putting others on the road in danger. That's where I draw the line. I can endanger myself all I want but, I value the lives of others. What can I say, I'm a caring person. In the end the stop literally cost me 7 minutes. I was shaking hands with the governor for 6.5 of those minutes. That includes filling up with gas. I know one is supposed to wait for the pump to stop before going in but, obviously I was in crisis mode here, so the rulebook went out the window; sue me.

Now I realize that I have written 4 paragraphs on a pee story and I apologize. Here's something that sticks with the theme of this post to cheer you up. Some of you may be wondering if I learned my lesson. Seriously, you all should know better than that. Next time I will make it to Fargo. Mind over matter kids, that's all there is to it.

Getting back to the original intent of this post, which was to recap some of the Thanksgiving weekend. I did somewhat accomplish my goal of eating two Thanksgiving meals. I stated in my last post that I wanted to eat one meal, puke it all up, then go back for round two. Instead, I ate the amount of food that would normally be considered two Thanksgiving meals in the same time it took the rest of my fellow pilgrims to eat one Thanksgiving meal. I'd like to say the feat I pulled off is greater than my original goal but, after sleeping on it I've decided that the ralphing is really the toughest part to go through with and, since I failed to do that, my goal will live on.

My weekend can be summed up by a text I received from my boy Addy that read: 209, keg, and perkins for dusty tonight?

The 1st two are bars and the 2nd is the best place in America to get a chicken tender melt in the wee hours of the morning. Although I didn't make it to Keg, I did enjoy a tasty treat at Perkins which was, in a word, glorious. Another highlight of the trip home was the absolute destroyal of some Dave's pizza. It's a local diamond in the rough. Good times in B-town.

My brother told me a story that I had a hard time believing. He told me a random person came up to him and said 'I read your brother's blog.' So here's an experiment. If you read this post you must make some kind of comment. You don't have to have an account, anyone can do it. I suggest something light and fun. Sample comments: You are awesome and I love you! or I can't live without reading your brilliant writing, don't ever stop (that's what she said)! Anything to that effect would be super.